


Because I Wanted You To Know

by parleroumourir



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Elio becomes his student, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Professor Oliver, Though most of this story takes place outside of the classroom lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 13:35:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 27,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14286054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parleroumourir/pseuds/parleroumourir
Summary: Just as he began to introduce himself to the room, a faint knock could be heard coming from the closed classroom door. How odd, thought Oliver. He was sure he had exactly twenty five students in total for this semester, maybe it was a last minute transfer. He responded with a loud enough “Come in.” That the person on the other side would hear.He turned to his left to greet the newest member of his spring class when his eyes landed on a stunned looking Elio who had his hand half outstretched to give Oliver his schedule.





	1. It could all be so simple but you'd rather make it hard

**“If I could have him like this in my dreams every night of my life, I'd stake my entire life on dreams and be done with the rest.”**

— _Call Me By Your Name_

 

Oliver walked into his classroom an hour before his first lesson of the new semester was set to start, deep in thought. As he prepared the board with all the necessary information for his new students, he couldn't help but lose himself in the memories of that last conversation he had with Elio. He shut his eyes and whispered the words that were spoken over the phone, “ _Do you mind?_ ” and instantly he was back in his apartment all those weeks ago, clinging to his home phone awaiting Elios response. The silence that followed felt like an eternity before Elio whispered his own name, how overwhelmed he felt in that moment, with longing and frustration. He wanted to reach out and touch Elio, reassure him that this, all of this was just temporary somehow, That they could make it work. But all he could manage was “ _I remember everything._ ” Like that would somehow magically fix them. Mend the wounds he’d created within Elios heart. Nothing he could say would make this better.

 _Lies. All lies._ He knew exactly how to fix this, all of this. If only it were that simple, if only he had parents that were as understanding and accepting like Samuel and Annella. Oliver was set to marry in just a few weeks. And _his_ Elio was so far away. Almost like in another universe, Oliver sometimes felt like he had imagined the whole six weeks. His dearest, Elio. Whom he missed like a lost limb, not a day went by that the boy didn't cross Oliver's thoughts, that memories didn't haunt his dreams and waking hours.

 How stupid he’d been to tell Elio about his engagement. It felt like a lifetime had past since their last conversation and Elio had refused to speak to him since, everytime Oliver had asked for him, Samuel would politely feed him a new excuse as to why Elio was too busy to speak. It was driving Oliver mad, the silence, the lack of a reaction. Of course Oliver understood how selfish this train of thought was. _He_ was the one getting married to someone else after all. He never mentioned the on and off again relationship he held with Elizabeth for the past three years. But the thought of Elio finding someone else made Olivers blood run cold.

Was Elio moving on? Was this the last push he needed to finally leave Oliver and the summer they shared behind? Oliver wasn't sure what response he expected or needed. At this point he’d be happy with anything as long as he could hear Elios voice one more time. It was pathetic how attached he’d grown to the boy in such a short amount of time. How deeply in love he’d fallen with Elio in only six weeks and the few passionate nights they shared together. His thoughts wander to those nights often, too often to be anything but concerning. Oh how he missed being inside of Elio, feeling his body adjusted to his length and the little noises he’d manage to get out of the boy whenever he thrusted a certain way. He lightly shook his head a couple times to clear those thoughts and the direction they were taking.

He only had a few minutes left before his class was set to begin and with it new challenges and things to keep his thoughts at bay for at least a few hours. Distractions were the only thing that Oliver had now, to get him by. To help him cope with the pain of losing Elio. He turned to give his attention to the almost full classroom of students that had walked in while he was busy writing on the blackboard. Elio would've liked this class Oliver thought, given his interest for culture and language.

Just as Oliver began to introduce himself to the room, a faint knock could be heard coming from the closed classroom door. How odd, thought Oliver. He was sure he had exactly twenty five students in total for this semester, maybe it was a last minute transfer. He responded with a loud enough “Come in.” That the person on the other side of the door would be able to hear.

Oliver turned to his left to greet the newest member of his spring class when his eyes landed on a confused looking Elio who had his hand half outstretched to give Oliver his schedule.

His heart skipped a beat at the sight of Elio, his beautiful, graceful, Elio, his goose. Oliver was not used to seeing Elio with so many layers of clothing on. His porcelain skin was almost completely covered by tight jeans, converse shoes, and a long sleeve shirt with a thick jacket; his curls were still wild and barely kept and his cheeks were a lovely shade of pink from running to class. Oliver felt like his legs would give out if he were to take a step towards the boy.

Why was Elio here? _Oh no. He’s in my class. He’s my student._ Out of all the scenarios in which he got to see Elio again, from all the possibilities, this one was the furthest from Olivers mind. Elio knew, did he not? How could he not know that this university, this class, would lead him directly to Oliver. Someone coughed in the distance which made Oliver snap his attention back to the current moment, with a very real Elio standing in front of him.

Refusing to meet his searching gaze, only handing him his schedule and waiting for Oliver to tell him where to sit since the class had assigned seats. Oliver knew he was staring and that the intensity of his stare would cause more than one student in this class to question what was going on if he didnt redirect his attention to getting through this lesson. He cleared his throat and forced his gaze away from the boy, he looked at the rows of seated youth and back down at the student roster he had with names.

There were only two spots left with available desks, one would be at the very back of the classroom or the seat near the middle where a student by the name of Anthony was currently pulling out his notebook. Oliver signaled for Elio to take that seat and quickly handed him back his schedule. It hit Oliver like a bucket full of ice water to the face that Elio could not have possibly known this class was being taught by him, due to Elio never learning his last name. If the stunned look the boy was sporting was anything to go by. Oliver could barely control his impulse to cancel the class and drag Elio out of the building somewhere else where they could be alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is my very first fic posted on ao3, I fell in love with cmbyn in Dec 2017 and it’s become my entire life. There’s so many Elio pov fics and I feel like we didn’t get a chance to experience Olivers side of the story so I love writing about Olivers feelings, and also giving these two a second chance at happiness. 
> 
>  
> 
> This story takes place 2 months after the phone call in the movie. Oliver is still engaged and teaching at Columbia University in NY and somehow *Timmy voice* by the luck of the universe* Elio not only is attending that SAME university but also is IN Olivers class. Yes let’s pretend Elio was old enough to be in college by the end of the movie. 
> 
>  
> 
> All grammer errors are my own since I have no beta lol 
> 
> I have a few chapters written of this story already so depending on the response I get, I might continue it.
> 
>  
> 
> Come talk to me [here](http://www.instagram.com/parleroumourir)


	2. Loving you is like a battle and we both end up with scars

When he split the class in groups to work on their first major assignment of the year, he sat at his desk completely distracted, he knew he should focus his attention on getting things done for his other classes but Oliver couldn’t help himself, he kept stealing glances in the direction of where the boy was seated, a million unanswered questions floating around in his head. The magnetic pull they had was just too strong for him to ignore.

He noticed how Elio was fidgeting in his seat, his mile long legs were slightly spread and Oliver knew he shouldn’t be staring but his eyes would not stop tracking up and down his petite body. Oliver had no idea that their size difference would be such a turn on for him, but Elios attractively dainty build always managed to get him hard within seconds when the thought crossed his mind. The way his hands looked holding onto Elios slim waist as the boy rode him with such eagerness that it left them both shaking and clinging to each other.

Elio was squirming in his chair, unaware of the intense stare directed at him. It made Oliver remember their first time together, back in Crema when things were simple, easy. Elio had climbed onto his lap and spread his legs enough to rub his ass against Olivers growing erection. _God, what he wouldn’t give to have Elio back on his lap,_ _where he belonged._ Just the thought made his khakis uncomfortably tight, his left hand began to sweat from the fist he was making under the desk, his back felt stiff with tension.

He wondered if Elio could feel his gaze, could sense Olivers eyes tracing all over Elios body the way his lips used to. He could remember with painful clarity what Elios mouth tastes like, what his sweet _insides_ taste like. He’ll never forget. He’ll die remembering.

Time passes like it always does, and it’s the end of a brutal lesson that Oliver will have to somehow grow accustomed to this entire semester. Unless Elio chose to drop the class, and that thought alone sent a cold chill down his spin. After dismissing the students for the day, Oliver tried his hardest to stay seated, to not leap out of his chair and run toward Elio, wrap the boy in his arms and bury his face in that neck he wants to lick and suck bruises onto or those untamed curls he misses dearly.

He feels like he’ll go crazy with the need to touch, and be touched. He almost misses the whispered “Oliver.” That escapes Elios lips.

His body tenses so hard that the chair shifts on the floor, a tiny, quick shriek of sound that makes Elio jump. Oliver lets the text book he’d been holding go, losing his place, and he pushes his chair back deliberately now, eyes fixed on the table, his arms folding right over his chest. Words clog his throat, threating to choke him. His chest feels tight, his heart races fast and fearful.

His face is flushed; he can feel it. Knows the boy can see it. He would be shaking if he wasn’t so tense, “E-Elio.” He manages to say.

He can’t sit here and pretend he doesn’t want to drop to his knees in front of Elio and beg his forgiveness, his understanding; to throw all caution out the window and yell at the top of his lungs to anyone that’ll listen just how much he loves this boy.

“How did this happen?” His jaw is tense as he speaks.

“I wanted to be near you.” Elio quickly glances up at him, fidgets then averts his gaze. “I know you’re getting married. I get it. W-What we had last summer won’t happen again. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want you in my life.” Elio finally met Olives eyes as he spoke, his gaze intense and anxious. Elio extended his hand out to Oliver in the form of a truce like they did all those months ago. “Friends?” The boy asked.

Why did this make Olivers blood run cold. He should be elated at the thought of getting to have Elio back in his life when just a day ago he never thought he’d get to see him again, let alone speak to him. Just sharing the same space as him should be enough. So why did this whole thing make him feel sick to his stomach.  
  
Was Elio moving on? Would he begin to date other people? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say? Oliver is my muse. 
> 
>  Come talk to me [here](http://www.instagram.com/parleroumourir)


	3. No one loves you more than me

Oliver had no right to feel so infuriated by the notion of friendship with Elio. That’s all they could have after the decision he made. Oliver bit the inside of his cheek before speaking. “I never thought I’d see you again Elio, I feel like I’ve imaged you here. We can be friends. If that’ll make you happy.” He extended his own hand to grasp Elios, the feeling of their skin touching once more even if it was just a handshake sent sparks up and down his spin. He wanted to pull Elio towards his body, wrap his arms around his waist and never let go. The handshake only lasted seconds but to Oliver it felt like a lifetime, and he instantly missed the sensation the second Elio pulled his hand free.

“You look happy.” Elio smiled at him, it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Teaching suits you” He wrapped his arms around himself, “I won’t give you any trouble in class, I promise.” He uttered that like a child who’d been chastised.

“I should get going.” Elio turned to leave, “Later.” He ironically said with a salute before walking towards his desk to collect his bookbag.

Panic flowed through Oliver like a sickness, he didn’t know where he was staying, or what major he selected, he knew nothing about the things that mattered to Elio now. And if that wasn’t a cruel joke all on its own. Then hearing his own parting phrase thrown at him so casually certainly was.

Oliver would forever blame the stress and desperation he was feeling that made him stand and march to Elios desk, in his reckless state of mind it possessed him to grab the boy by the wrist before chanting “ _Oliver,_ _Oliver,_ _Oliver._ ” It was whispered but Elio heard it all the same. The boy was facing away, with his back to Oliver, stiff and unmoving. The air was thick with unspoken words between the two.

“Ollie!” A female voice could be heard calling for him from the door.

His girlfriend.

“Are you ready to go? We have reservations at that restaurant you like.” She slowly made her way to Olivers side, eyeing Elio. Focusing her attention where Oliver was holding his wrist.

She ran her fingers through his hair in an affectionate gesture that mirrored what Elio used to do once upon a time.

”I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” She smiled at Elio, slowly removing her fingers from his hair, but still holding onto his bicep. 

Elio was watching, witnessing this all unfold. He couldn’t take his eyes off the boy who retracted his hand from Olivers grasp, and quickly gathered his things before silently leaving.

 _Fuck._ He wanted to chase after him,to leave his girlfriend behind.

Even if that meant leaving her confused and concerned. She didn’t matter, she didn’t carry his heart around his neck the way Elio did. He knew he was a piece of shit for thinking this but he couldn’t control it. 

_Would Elio ever speak to him again after this? They had a truce didn’t they?_

“Who was that? He seemed pretty upset.” Liz asked _._

”He is a student of mine.” The words hurt leaving his mouth, Elio wasn’t just a student, he wasn’t just some upset kid that Oliver had to deal with. But he couldn’t tell her that, not yet, this was all still so new and he wasn’t sure how to handle it.

The walk from campus to the restaurant was exhausting, though his body was physically fine his mind was racing a mile a minute.

He needed to know where Elio was staying, so he could see him, get him alone for just a little while, maybe Elio wouldn’t push him away it Oliver tried to hold him. He thought about the student files he could get access to and how they’ll tell him exactly where Elio is staying.

Sure, it was intrusive, maybe even a little creepy if anyone knew what Oliver was planning on doing. But Elio was his student after all, he could get away with this and was determined not to feel guilty over it.

“Oliver, are you even listening to me? You’ve been so distracted today, what’s going on?”  Liz’s tone was filled with concern and a hint of annoyance.

“Yeah, sorry. It’s just all my first day jitters, you know how I can get sometimes with new classes and setting proper expectations.” Oliver avoided eye contact with her and instead scanned the menu for the third time. 

Liz nodded her head in understanding and the evening passed with casual conversation and delicious food. She tried to suggest they spend some alone time at her apartment but Oliver just couldn’t stomach the thought of touching her in that way after being near Elio. He made an excuse and managed to leave with a goodnight kiss to the cheek and a promise of something more on a different day.

That night Oliver tossed and turned, restless and haunted by Elios piercing eyes and his hurt expression when Liz ran her fingers through his hair.

_It’s not what you think, when she does it. It means nothing. When you did it, it meant everything to me._

Oliver barely slept and felt sick the next morning as he got ready for work with hours to spare, he had a plan after all and he needed time to execute it. The lady at the front office was more than willing to allow Oliver to take a peek at the student files after he smiled at her and gave her a compliment, she was older and he knew she thought he was attractive.

He found Elios address within seconds and made his way back to his classroom, grinning from ear to ear. He’d come up with an excuse to show up at Elios dorm, uninvited.

Maybe wearing something he knew the boy liked seeing him in. Time passed unbearably slow, partly due to the fact that he was counting down the hours till his class with Elio, the need to be around him was overwhelming.

And when the time finally came that he was preparing the board for _their_ class together, he felt like a teenager again, nervous and clumsy. 

Elio walked through the door around the time most of the other students did, with his head down avoiding eye contact with Oliver.

It made him uneasy, _are you mad at me Elio? Have I hurt you again?_

He tried to control his racing thoughts and focus on the lesson, and for the first part of the class he was successful, but the moment he allowed the students to break off into pairs for their assignment. It all went down hill, Elio became Anthony’s partner and they hit it off within seconds, Oliver didn’t need to look up to hear how well they were connecting, they were talking loud enough that he could make out their words from his spot at the front of the class.

For some reason Oliver felt incredibly annoyed by their exchange, maybe it was the way Elio was smiling at the other boy all sweet and inviting. Or maybe it was the casual touches they were exchanging as they worked on the assignment, it triggered something inside Oliver that wanted to stake his claim, remind Elio that he belonged to someone, that he wasn’t allowed to share that tender part of himself with others.

That thought made Oliver feel sick, he had no right, no fucking right to want to possess Elio. He had a fiancé, someone he’d asked to marry, a life long commitment.

Yet she hadn’t crossed his mind once today, all he could think about was _Elio_. Seeing him, being near him, touching him, being inside of him. He belonged to Elio, mind, body, and soul. _Can’t you see how crazy you make me?_

Oliver could barely sit still, he kept twerling the number two pencil he had between his fingers, trying and failing to keep his eyes from wandering to the pair that were still deep in conversation long after they’d completed the assignment.

If all his focus hadn’t been on their conversation maybe he might’ve missed the invitation Anthony made for Elio to hang out with him after class.

Oliver broke the pencil he was holding in half, it made a loud snapping noise that alerted some of the students, he laughed it off, _I just don’t know my own strength sometimes._

He stood up and picked up the remains of the pencil before tossing it in the trash. He felt eyes on his back as he did this, certain they were Elios.

Was he doing this on purpose? Flirting with this kid to get under Olivers skin?

To make him suffer for getting engaged? It’s not like he didn’t deserve it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to take a moment to thank EACH and EVERYONE of you for the overwhelming response to this story. I’ll be honest with you all, I’m very hard on myself and the stories or edits I produce, it’ll never be good enough but your enthusiasm has driven me. This is the longest chapter I’ve ever posted so.. yea.
> 
> Kudos and comments are what keep me going :)


	4. As painful as this thing has been I just can't be with no one else

It took all of Oliver's self control not to lash out in front of the class, to walk up to the pair and break one of Anthony’s hands for touching Elio so carelessly, like he had any right.

As if he knew the boy the way Oliver did, that thought filled him with pride. He was Elios _first,_ at least with men. Oliver knew this to be true by the way Elio blushed and moaned the first time they made love, or the little pained noises he made when Oliver got too carried away but the boy would beg him not to stop.

He let that train of thought anchor him and give him the strength to get through the rest of the lesson. Even if Elio ever slept with another man, he’d always compare it to their time together. He wanted to be the ghost that haunted Elios life for the rest of their time on this world.

Oliver could sense Elios discomfort from half a room away, his body was so attuned to Elios he understood this was _not_ normal, the way he craved to care and protect him. How he felt touch starved everytime he would glance up and become entranced by those slender delicate fingers that used to rub up and down his chest, he felt his cock twitch at the memory and shook his head to clear it.

He managed to focus on grading assignments for the rest of the time and when the students were exiting, Oliver noticed that Elio lingered by Anthony’s side, still deep in conversation, it made him sick. They were going to leave together, to do god knows what while Oliver could do nothing to stop it.

When he noticed that Elio stood to leave with Anthony close behind, he couldn’t control himself.

“Elio. Can I see you for just a moment?”

The boy froze, Oliver suppressed a smile at Elios expression, he was the definition of a deer caught in headlights.

“I’ll be right out, if you don’t mind waiting for me outside, then we can hang out, okay?” Elio told Anthony who nodded and gathered his things before leaving.

Olivers heart skipped a beat, he hadn’t gotten any alone time with Elio since their first encounter, and even though Anthony was right outside the door, it made sparks course through his veins. He could fix this, fix _them._

Elio approached with his gaze downcasted, avoiding direct eye contact, that bothered Oliver. He needed Elio to look at him, to allow him to explain, to make him understand.

“We need to talk, Elio. Can we go somewhere private? My apartment is near by.” Oliver said, feeling insecure and needy.

“I-I don’t think that’s a good idea. Your wife, I mean your girlfriend probably will have questions.” Elio bit his bottom lip, “Plus I have plans with Anthony.” He pointed towards the exit.

“ _Elio._ ” He didn’t mean for it to come out like a plea but he was desperate.

“Listen, she doesn’t live with me. She won’t be around to question anything.” He ram his fingers through his hair, tugging at it. 

“Please. You can reschedule. We need to talk about _this_...situation we are in.” He inched closer to the boy without realizing it.

Elio flinched like he’d been struck, he looked up and Oliver wished he hadn’t, for what he saw in those beautiful eyes was anger and hurt. “What is there to talk about _professor_?” He spat the last word and it felt like a slap to the face.

“You left me. I was just a fling, a warm body to keep you company while you were away from her.” Elio pointed an accusing finger at Oliver.

“Just because I have this fucked up need to be around you doesn’t mean you didn’t make that crystal clear with your phone call.” Elio wrapped his arms around himself the way he did when he was upset.

Oliver felt like a piece of shit stuck under someone’s shoe for causing Elio distress, he wanted to make it better, make it go away. He didn’t want Elio to get a nosebleed.

“I deserve that, I do. But Elio, you have to let me explain. You were never just a—“

Before Oliver could finish his sentence Anthony stuck his head in the door and asked “Elio, is everything okay?”

Elio still had his arms wrapped around himself while rocking back and forth.

“He isn’t in any trouble now is he, pro?” Anthony smiled up at Oliver and that pissed him off, made Oliver want to punch in his perfect teeth and shout at him to mind his own.

Yet Oliver couldn’t do anything aside from provide reassurance, “Everything is fine.” He returned the smile with a toothy grin of his own.

It was fake and forced but it was enough to convince the kid to back off and Oliver was grateful for the small victory.

“What is there to explain? Your still engaged.” Elios eyes were watery and turning red. “I’m your student now. I think I covered everything.” Elio spat the last part like an insult.

Elio made to leave and Oliver grabbed him by the waist holding him firmly against his chest. He couldn’t help himself, he knew how risky this was yet he had to lean in and smell Elios curls, having him this close was messing with his head.

“Please. E-Elio. God, just listen to me.” He whispered against the shell of Elios ear, he felt Elio shiver. 

They were standing out in the open, exposed. Olivers door was open, Anthony could discover them but Oliver just couldn’t find it in him to care.

For a few seconds he felt whole again with Elio leaning against his chest before the boy pulled away and walked straight out the door without a second glance at Oliver.

He felt defeated and helpless, he stood there in his empty classroom for several minutes after Elios departure, just reeling.

Once he was able to compose himself enough to leave, he barely made it into his office before panic overtook him and he found himself barely being able to breathe. His office phone rang, it was probably Elizabeth.

He couldn’t fake it today, he felt like an exposed nerve. He took several deep breaths before managing to control his voice enough to answer, he knew if he didn’t she’d just show up at his office to see if he was okay.

“Ollie. Are you coming over today, baby?”

“Today isn’t good for me. I have a lot of grading to do and lesson plans to finish. Maybe next week, I’m sorry.” He pinched the bridge of his nose as he spoke.

“Did I do something? It almost feels like you're avoiding spending time with me.” She sounded hurt and Oliver should feel bad but he didn’t.

“I’m not, and you haven’t. It’s just work, you know how it can get. But I promise, tomorrow we can go to a nice restaurant and spend some time together.”

“We need to pick a date for the wedding Oliver, your parents keep asking me and I don’t have an answer for them.” Liz sighed against the receiver. 

Oliver felt clammy and light headed by that reminder. “I know. We’ll discuss it over dinner. Listen, I really have to get these assignments graded, I’ll call you when I get home, okay?”

“Okay. Love you.” She murmured.

He ended the call before she could even expect a response. He was a piece of shit, he knew she loved him, had loved him almost their entire lives. They were friends since childhood, he considered her a best friend and it only made sense for them to get married, he did care for her, he did love her. But he wasn’t _in_ love with her.

He couldn’t be happy with her the way she needed him to be. That’s why their relationship had been so rocky from the start, Oliver thought if he dated her it would ease the pressure of his parents constantly asking when he was going to find a nice girl to marry and start having kids with.

But then he met Elio and the impulsive mistake he made by proposing to her was exploding all in his face and he didn’t know what to do. He was losing Elio and he didn’t know how to handle it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you all for reading, leaving me kind messages, and kudos. They keep me inspired. 
> 
> Fun fact: Anthony is a young Robert Downey Jr.


	5. Is this just a silly game that forces you to act this way?

He walked to a local bar that was only a few blocks from the campus and as he sat down the bartender seemed to notice his sour mood and did not attempt any sort of small talk aside from asking what he’d like to drink.

The alcohol burned a little as he swallowed but it warmed his body from the inside out, and he took the time to observe his surroundings. The bar was small yet managed to fit a large amount of people, laugher and conversations could be heard all around, with live music playing by unknown bands that were just trying to get their big break by playing as many gigs as they could get.

Oliver had never felt this alone before in his entire life, he was surrounded by people yet he felt like he was drowning and nobody cared enough to notice. He was living a lie, constantly. Lying to his parents, to his friends and to Elizabeth.

They all saw different versions of the Oliver they thought they knew, for his parents he was the obedient son that finished high school and went all the way with college, top of his class and managing to become a professor, proposing to that nice girl that they always wanted him to date.

For his friends Oliver was the carefree charmer that everyone went to when they wanted to have a good time or needed advise because he always seemed so put together.

And lastly for Elizabeth, he was the childhood best friend, the shoulder to cry on, the guy she was going to marry and should know better than anyone. Yet even she did not truly know him, he’d never been himself around anyone until Elio.

The boy was the only one Oliver had ever felt safe enough to be that vulnerable with, he’d exposed all of himself to Elio during that summer, he’d fallen so deeply in love.

Just as he was gesturing for the bartender to bring him another round, he heard the very distinct sound of Elio laughing.

It filled his ears, a small smile forming as warmth spreading through his stomach up his chest, until he swore he was glowing from it, it made his blood pump a little quicker.

As he looked around to locate where the sound came from, his eyes landed on the familiar mop of curls sitting at a booth near the back of the bar with Anthony.

They were deep in conversation, Anthony apparently saying something so funny that Elio had to put his hand over his mouth to control the fit of giggles.

Oliver felt his stomach drop, at the sight of them. Was this what his life would be like now? Having to witness Elio move on, be happy with someone else. It was a taste of his own medicine, yet it still hurt something deep.

He couldn’t look away, and the longer he continued to stare the more drinks he ordered, till the bartender cut him off. He slurred his words, attempting to reassure the women that he could take another round, that he was fine.

But the reality of the situation was that he was so drunk he could barely think, he couldn’t stand to look at them anymore, he just needed to rest his head for a few minutes till the room stopped spinning.

He lost track of time once his head was flat on the cool surface, till he felt someone gently shake him.

“Oliver, are you okay?” He could  distinguish that voice even in his current state of drunkenness, he tried to lift his head but the room kept spinning too much,

“Jesus, Oliver. Talk to me.” Elios voice sounded frighten.

“W-what for? It’s not like you care.” It was word vomit, he didn’t mean it.

Yet he couldn’t stop himself from saying it.

Elio looked hurt by his words and he removed his hand from where it was holding onto Olivers bicep, he instantly missed the contact.

“You’re being an asshole.” Elio paused and bit his lower lip.

“Why are you getting drunk at a bar by yourself? How are you planning on getting home safety?” Elio had his hand in his hip, eyebrows furrowed.

 Oliver wanted to reach out and touch him but he was afraid Elio would push him away, he couldn’t stomach that rejection again so soon.

“W-why aren’t you with Anthony?” It came out harsher than intended, but the alcohol coursing through his veins made it difficult to care.

Elio just kept staring at him intensely, with his lower lip all pouty and rosy pink.

What he wouldn’t give to taste those lips one more time. He blinked a couple times to control himself from doing just that.

They were in public and Anthony was probably still around, not that Oliver cared or could see him from where his head still laid.

“Anthony left, not that it’s any of your business.” Elio traced the Star of David with his fingers while he spoke. “When I noticed you were sitting here passed out, I told him I had to do some studying for an exam and he left through a different exit.” Oliver was sure the boy didn’t even realize he was doing it. “

So your lucky he didn’t see you.” Elio exhaled, sounding exasperated.

Oliver nodded his head, Elio had a point. He was a professor now. He couldn’t just get shit face drunk at a bar where his students might casually spot him and report him.

He tried to get up off the chair and lost his balance. Elio was there in an instant, wrapping both his arms around Olivers waist and supporting his weight before helping him stand up straight.

Their bodies were pressed together and Oliver could not control the way he leaned in to smell Elios neck, having the boy this close always seemed to affect him.

Elio took a step back and kept Oliver at arms length, muttering a brief “Come on, let’s get you home.” Before pulling him by the elbow toward the exit.

Oliver kept his gaze on the ground placing all his focus on making sure he didn’t trip over his own feet.

Once they were outside Elio paused and turned to face Oliver. “Where’s your apartment? Do you want me to call your girlfriend?” Elio made brief eye contact before looking away.

Oliver reached out without thinking and gently lifted Elios chin with his index finger and thumb, satisfied when their eyes met and stayed connected. “I live close to campus. I-I might be drunk b-but I can still figure out how to get back.” He felt proud of himself for not slurring his words.

He dropped his hand and made to walk by himself, he didn’t need the boys pity. He held on to a tree for support, pinching the bridge of his nose a couple times before slowly walking away from a stunned Elio, who quickly caught up with him.

“Oliver. Don’t be stupid, let me help you. You’ll get yourself killed, just by trying to cross the street.” Elio was suddenly right there in Olivers face, clinging to his arm. His skin felt hot to the touch from the alcohol and the sudden contact with Elios delicate fingers.

They managed to make it back to Oliver’s apartment, with a lot of fumbling and cursing by Elio who supported most of Oliver’s weight as they stumbled through the streets and a fit of giggles that Oliver would never admit to and would always blame on the tequila shots.

Elio was able to get the keys from Olivers front pocket and unlocked his front door before pushing him inside. Oliver just stood in the center of the room, dazed and intoxicated.

“W-Why does this look like my apartment?” Oliver asked before turning to glance at Elio.

“Wow, you really are drunk.” Elio shook his head, “This is your apartment, Oliver. Jesus. Why did you get this drunk? It’s not like you.” Elio sighed before guiding Oliver towards a narrow hallway, opening doors at random then ushering Oliver towards his room.

“Lay down, I’ll get you some water.” Elio pausd by the threshold before whispering, “Y-you should change clothes, sleeping in jeans isn’t comfortable.” His cheeks were a light shade of pink before walking away.

Oliver loved when Elio got flushed, his skin was so sensitive and responsive to whatever he might be feeling. If he wasn’t so drunk, he’d probably get hard from the sight alone.

He tried and failed several times to unbutton his shirt, and only managed to peel his jeans half way down his legs before giving up and just laying there staring at the ceiling.

When Elio walked back into the room, he cleared his throat several times before gesturing for Oliver to sit up. He took several small sips of the water before gulping it all down in one go. He smiled at Elio proudly, expecting praise for having drank all of it, yet Elio refused to look at him, instead pacing back and forth in front of him.

“Hey. S-stop that. C’mere.” His outstretched arms managed to reach Elio and pull him forward till the boy was flush against his chest and spread legs.

His jeans were still half way down his thighs with his boxers on full display, shirt half undone, his Star of David swaying with his movements. Elio was staring at it intently before averting his gaze.

“I-I remember how you used to love putting my necklace in your mouth while I fucked you–“ Elio tried to push himself away but Oliver had a firm grip on his slim hips. “O-or how bold you were, w-when you grabbed my crotch after we kissed for the first time.” Elio continued to squirm, lightly pushing at his chest to be released.

“Elio. Please. Just. Let me hold you.” He pleaded, eyes glassy and red rimmed.

Elio looked up before going very still. “You’re engaged. You can’t just say things like that to me anymore. You made your choice Oliver!” Elios voice echoed through the apartment. It felt like a stab to the chest, directly piercing the heart. Oliver removed his hands from Elios body like he’d been burned, pushing away from the boy, to half lay on the bed instead.

He tried to pull up his jeans, suddenly feeling self conscious for being so exposed when Elio wanted nothing to do with him. He struggled to pull his pants back up, and gave up on even attempting to button them.

“Yeah. S-Sure. You’re right. You should just leave. I-I’ll keep my distance.” Oliver made the attempt to stand and walk toward the bathroom but ended up crashing to the ground face first.

It hurt but he deserved it, he should’ve waited. Figured out a way to make it work with Elio instead of jumping the gun and proposing to Elizabeth when he didn’t love her.

The impact made stars flash before his eyes as he blinked several times and groaned in pain, not bothering to move.

“O-oliver. Fuck. Are you bleeding?” Elios voice sounded frantic as his hands gripped Oliver by his biceps and made to turn him over. Oliver could feel a wetness trailing down his face at a steady pace, he probably busted his head open with that fall but couldn’t seem to care, all he could focus on was how close Elios face was to his.

He could see the freckles dusting the bridge of Elios nose and was instantly distracted by the boys beauty. He just missed him so much, and couldn’t control his desire to touch and kiss and feel him close.

He leaned in and pressed their lips together, smearing the blood that was trailing down his face against Elios mouth and cheek. They both groaned at the taste of it mixed with the flavor of alcohol that still clung to Oliver’s mouth. He sucked Elios tongue eagerly, so desperate for it.

Elio whimpered when Oliver had to break the kiss to catch his breath. They were both panting, Elio somehow ended straddling him as they both laid on the ground. Oliver kept a firm grip on Elios hips, slipping his hand under the boys shirt to feel the delicate skin of his hip bones.

They were both in a daze for a moment where reality didn’t exist, where they were the only ones that mattered to each other.

Elio surfaced before Oliver had a chance to react and he pushed away from him, standing up and hastily making his way towards the door.

“I can’t do this. I’m not going to be your dirty little secret while you pretend to be happily married!”

He stormed out of the room and slammed the front door on his way out. Leaving Oliver stunned, bleeding, and alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO UPDATE. I’ll be honest, I had writers block. I mean I have this story completely outlined, but I keep wanting to add things that weren’t part of that outline so.. yeah. I don’t have any set update schedule, it’s mostly when inspiration hits. I’m not giving up on this story, it will get finished but.. I can’t guarantee frequent updates, I’ll try to update it again within 2 weeks but.. it might end up being longer than that. The muse leaves me and sometimes doesn’t come back for months. She’s a bitch like that. But once again, thank you to everyone that’s left comments and kudos. Those are motivators for me to continue.


	6. Cry for me, cry for me. You said you'd die for me.

Time passed and the shock of what transpired flashed before Oliver’s eyes, he felt exhausted and overwhelmed. He closed his eyes and when he opened them again it was day time, sunshine was peeking through his bedroom curtains.

He’d fallen asleep on the ground in the same position Elio had left him in, extremely hung over and in a lot of pain from the blow to his head. Oliver struggled to get up and walk to the bathroom. After taking a piss and showering, he looked in the mirror with a towel wrapped around his waist, he had a scrape on his forehead that wasn’t too deep but would need medical attention, possibly stitches.

What a night. Oliver thought, something like this would only happen to him. He remember bits and pieces from what happened after they left the bar and Elio helped him back home. He felt nauseous and on the verge of a panic attack, Elio seemed so upset. He had to fix this somehow.

Luckily, it was Saturday and he did not have the obligation of work to stop him from going to see Elio, he did still have the boys address written down somewhere. He searched his entire apartment for an hour until he found the piece of paper in one of his dirty work pants.

His mind was racing as he went to the ER to get stitches for his forehead, the nurse attempted small talk but Oliver kept spacing out as she tended to his wound, all he could think about was how beautiful Elio had looked. Elios pouty lips had been bright red from Oliver’s blood and his eyes were completely dilated from arousal.

The nurse cleared her throat which brought Oliver back from his daydream, he thanked her and got a prescription for pain medication and left.

On his way back to the apartment he realized the plans he’d made with Elizabeth for some alone time and it made his stomach drop. He had to end things with her, there was no other option. The thought of spending the rest of his life with her made his blood run cold, and the possibility of Elio falling in love with someone else, was too painful a thought to handle.

His hands were shaking as he dialed her number on his home phone. She answered on the third ring. “Hey babe, feels like forever since I’ve talked to you.”

Oliver felt sick with the realization that he was going to hurt her, break her heart even. When she didn’t deserve it. “Hey. Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I was actually wondering if you wanted to do something today?”

He didn’t want to outright tell her they needed to talk, she would suspect something automatically and he’d rather have this conversation in person. He was done being a coward that took the easy way out.

“I miss you, that sounds perfect. I’m starving, let’s go eat at that Italian place you love so much. Remember you said it reminds you of Crema.”

Fuck. Out of all places. Why did she have to pick that one. “Alright, I’ll be at your place in an hour.”

“Love you. See you soon.” She sounded cheerful, unsuspecting, hopeful even. It made Oliver feel like the lowest form of scum, maybe the piece of gum that can be found stuck at the bottom of someone’s shoe.

She deserves someone that would love her and want to be with her. Not someone who was in love with someone else. Oliver tried so hard to fall in love with her, the entirely of the two years they’ve dated, he was dotting, romantic, and caring, gave her everything she could want or need. She was happy. But he was miserable.

He was acting, playing a role. And the desire to be with a man never went away, those were the moments within their relationship when he would ask her for space, for them to take a break. And in those moments when they weren’t dating, Oliver would seek out men, in places he knew were for people like him.

He would let them suck his cock, never coming in their mouth, never kissing or touching more than just the top of their heads. He would feel guilty after the act, when these men made attempts at getting to know him, when they would ask for his name or phone number. He would shut them out, with a short and cold emotionless response, making it known that he wasn’t like that. But he was, and the only person he was lying too, was himself.

The shame was the worst part of it all, feeling dirty and infected by his own desire, scared that he would get the sickness that was going around, he didn’t want to die. In moments like those, he would rush back to Elizabeth, begging for a second chance, not just for their relationship but to be normal. He would take her to bed, fuck her, and feel numb.

All that changed once he met Elio, there was no shame or regret when he kissed the boy, or when he touched his body, or when they made love. Elio was the only man Oliver had ever slept with, sure the blowjobs could count as a sexual encounter but he’d never had penetrative sex with another man before Elio.

There was no fear of the sickness killing them both. Elio had been a virgin when they slept together for the first time, Oliver had been given that gift without earning it. He had to make things right, Elio was the love of his life.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *awkwardly waves* Hey guys, long time no update. I KNOW. Like I said, I’m terrible. But I actually took the time to reread this entire story and make some corrections to previous chapters and I feel a lot more confident now with what I have thus far. So I’m going to try harder to write a little everyday whenever I feel inspired to produce chapters for this story at a more reasonable rate. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are major motivators.
> 
> Come talk to me [here](http://www.instagram.com/mysteryofhammer)


	7. These wretched things I do.

Oliver took the subway to meet Elizabeth at her apartment, he found it helped soothe his nerves to people watch. He enjoyed observing as everyone rushed inside, and depending on the time of day, bodies would be all pressed together, hanging onto something while awaiting their stop.

He wondered about their struggles, what they had to face, what internal demons they were battling. It was comforting to know that he was surrounded by strangers, who all had their own stories, own problems, families and friends. That he wasn’t alone in this world with his suffering, every single one of these people had something going on.

Once he arrived at his stop, Oliver walked to Elizabeth’s apartment and took the elevator up to her floor, his palms were sweaty and he felt light headed from the anxiety of what he had to do. She opened the door after the third knock.

“Hey baby,” she greeted Oliver before leaning in to kiss him.

Her eyes went wide with concern. “Oh my god, what happened to your forehead?” She made a gesture as if she wanted to touch the part on his head that had the stitches but thought better of it.

“Oh, this.” He pointed to the cut and avoided touching it, running his fingers through his hair instead and winced at the pain it caused him.

“It’s nothing, I got drunk and hit my head. It’s really stupid.” He laughed and hoped she would drop the subject.

“That doesn’t look like nothing to me.” She squinted at him with disbelief in her honey brown eyes.

“Listen, I’m fine. Let’s get going, I’m hungry.” He looked down at his watch. “Our reservations are at six.”

She gave him this questioning look like she didn’t believe him but let the subject go, at least for now.

“Let me get my purse and we can go.” She left her door opened and Oliver watched her as she walked away.

She was wearing a cream colored low cut blouse with form fitting jeans, heels, and her long hair was styled in perfect waves that draped down her back.

Oliver instantly felt like shit, she got all dressed up for him and he was going to break her heart.

“You look amazing as always.” He complimented her out of guilt and self loathing, he didn’t want to ruin her for everyone else, he wanted her to move on from him and find happiness with someone else.

“Sounds like someone’s trying to get lucky tonight.” She smiled at him as she closed the door and they started to walk. “How hard did you hit your head?” She joked.

“Pretty fucking hard.” Oliver responded, remembering the blood and how it trickled down his head and onto his face, past his lips and onto his shirt. Oliver recalled how worried Elio had looked. He shook his head to clear out the memory of last night

They casually spoke about their day as they made their way to the Italian restaurant. Once they were seated and had ordered their food, Oliver was trying to find the perfect moment to approach the subject but there was no real easy way of doing this, he figured he should wait till they’d finished eating at least.

Once Oliver paid for their meal and Elizabeth was gazing at him with love in her eyes, their hands intertwined on top of the table. it was time, now or never.

His heart was racing and he had to swallow several times to keep the food he’d just consumed from escaping through his mouth.

“Elizabeth. We need to talk.” He squeezed her hand.

“Sure, babe. What is it?” She was still smiling, trying to reassure him.

“I-I’ve been trying to find the right time to do this all night, and I just.” He looked down, thought about Elio and found the courage to speak, “I can’t go through with this.” He looked up at her. “With the wedding.” He held her gaze.

“W-what?” She let go of his hand and wrapped it around herself in a protective gesture, “You can’t be serious.” Her eyes were turning red and watery.

“I am. And I’m so sorry.” He meant it, he never intended on hurting her, he tried so hard to make this work.

She shook her head, “If you’re so sorry you wouldn’t be dumping me right now.” She wiped the tears off her cheeks with a napkin. “Are you sleeping with someone else? Is that what this is?” She raised her voice and a couple of people sitting around them glanced in their direction with concern.

“I did not cheat on you.” He took a deep breath, “I met someone, when we were taking a break, it only lasted for a few weeks but–“ imagines of that summer, of Elios smile and his curls flashed before his eyes.

He had to clear his throat before continuing, “I fell in love, I’m still in love with them.” He kept the pronouns neutral.

“And it’s not fair to you that I marry you when I love someone else.” His own eyes were burning, he was holding back tears. This was not easy for him, he may not be in love with her but he did care about her, deeply. They’d been friends their entire lives.

“What’s her name?” She demanded to know.

“I really don’t think that’s something we should talk about. It was never my intention to hurt you.” He reached out to touch her and she flinched away.

“You’re just going to throw everything we’ve built together away for some summer fling?” Her make-up was smudged and she was no longer wiping at the tears that streamed down her cheeks.

“I guess I meant that little to you after all.” She took off the engagement ring and threw it at him, successfully hitting his chest with it before standing up.

“Elizabeth, wait. Don’t go.” He got up too.

“Don’t you dare follow me.” She walked away without another word, or glance in his direction.

He picked up the ring that was now under the table and awkwardly made his way to the exit, everyone gave him dirty looks as he took the walk of shame out the main doors.

He felt hollow, he just called off their engagement and lost one of his oldest friends. Not to mention the chaos this would create with his parents once they found out.

It was late by the time he made it back to his apartment, he was emotionally drained and physically tired.

He laid in bed that night and wondered what Elio was doing, he wanted to see him and tell him he’d called it all off. He wanted to hold him and tell him how much he loved him, how much he needed him.

Tomorrow he would go to his dorm, and explain everything.

As he fell asleep, he dreamt of the sound of the boys laughter when Oliver would tickle him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I’ll blame the charmie reunion yesterday for this burst of random inspiration. I hope you all enjoyed it, I’m already working on chapter 8 so look for that in the next couple of days.
> 
> Comments and kudos keep me motivated :)
> 
> Side note: I always read your comments, even if I may not respond, I simply don’t know what to say sometimes so it’s nothing personal, but please know I do read them and they make me smile and help me continue with the story.
> 
> So thank you for everything 
> 
> Come talk to me [here](http://www.instagram.com/mysteryofhammer)


	8. I’ll be your shadow, faithful and obedient.

Oliver knew he was dreaming, reliving a pleasant memory. He felt like he was floating, having an outer body experience.

_That night they fell onto the twin beds that had been put together to accommodate Oliver and his larger body, Elios bed which became his bed, which later became their bed. With the bright yellow sheets and scattered books, drawings and pictures decorating the walls. They spent several hours that night simply kissing, lazing on the bed, completely naked and carefree. Wrapped up in each other, mending their wounds caused by weeks of avoidance and misunderstandings, they were lost on their own little island away from the world._

_Oliver pushed Elio into the pillows and began to kiss him all over, his closed eyelids, the bridge of his freckled nose, before focusing his attention on Elios lips. He dragged the tip of his tongue along the outline of Elios mouth, pulling back every time Elio would lean in to capture his tongue with his own mouth. Elio would whine and give Oliver a pleading look but Oliver would ignore it in favor of kissing his neck and down his chest._

_He felt Elios fingertips stroke his lower back and he dug his hand into Elios curls as he pulled up to kiss his pouty lips, rewarding the boy for his patience. He sucked on Elios tongue until he felt Elio move his head away, gasping for air. He nipped at the soft bottom lip allowing the boy a moment to catch his breath._

_“Do you have any idea how much I love your mouth?” Oliver whispered, as he slid his lips over a freckle on Elios jaw, taking a detour across his throat before coming back to claim Elios lips again._

_“No, I had no idea.” Elio said with a grin on his face. “You might have to kiss me some more, I’m not sure I fully believe you.” He poked Oliver's side playfully._

_Oliver tickled Elios belly and ribs in retaliation stopping only when the boy was begging with tears in his eyes for Oliver to show him some mercy, smile shining bright in the dark room._

_Oliver leaned over Elio and pressed their foreheads together, “Oliver, Oliver, Oliver.” he whispered against his lips, astonished by how he could see the boys eyes dilate with arousal._

_He had decided then and there that even if their expiration date was near, he wanted to live in every single moment he had with Elio, he wanted to remember every last second of their shared time together, so he could treasure the memories and replay them when he was alone and broken._

_“Elio, Elio, Elio.” The boy had whispered back._

_In that moment they were not Elio and Oliver, they were one singular being that shared one heart and one body. They were so wrapped up in each other it was impossible to determine where Oliver started and Elio ended._

_Their bodies melded into each other and the kisses deepened, their tongues moving in a slow, endless dance while they rubbed their erections together. Elio lay on his back, body offered up as he spread his legs, and waited for what came next, his eyes heavy with want._

_Oliver slid down Elios body, slowly exploring and savoring every inch. Sucking possessive marks onto his inner thighs and the hollow of his hip bone. Oliver could feel the way Elios muscles would tense under his mouth as he traced a path of kisses back up his tummy to suck on his tiny little nipples, leaving them red and sensitive._

_Elio let out a whimper when Oliver bit into one of them and drew it back into his mouth, “Please, I want you inside of me.” He begged, hissing when Oliver sucked harder before releasing the abused nipple and sitting up on the bed._

_Once he located the bottle of lube, Oliver slid down Elios body to focus his attention on the part of the boys body he’d purposely neglected up until now. He licked a trail up the underside of Elios shaft, rolling his tongue several times around the crown when he reached the tip. He wrapped his lips around the head and began to slowly bob his head, allowing his throat to adjust to the intrusion._

_He felt Elio tug at his hair while he moved his hips, pushing himself in and out of Oliver's mouth. He took his time, enjoying the weight of Elios cock in his mouth, the smell and taste. He sucked and curled his tongue around the slit, knowing how sensitive Elio got when he was really aroused. He knew how far to push, never reaching a rhythm that would make Elio come too soon._

_When Oliver finally pulled away, he glided his tongue through Elios happy trail and the boys entire body was thrumming with pleasure. All that could be heard were the broken moans that escaped Elios lips._

_Oliver felt high and drunk with the noise. It felt like a bolt of electricity coursed through his skin._

_He settled between Elios legs, rubbing his wet fingers together as the boy watched, tracing his hole with his index finger before slowly pressing inside the tight heat. He swallowed Elios cock back into this mouth, bobbing his head to each push and pull of his finger._

_Occasionally looking up to admire the way Elio would toss his head back, struggling to keep quiet. He knew Elio was desperate and close to coming from the dual sensations. He added a second finger and sucked harder, Elio let out a moan and spread his legs wider, hips shooting off the mattress. “Oliver.” he moaned, “I’m ready. Please.”_

_Oliver pulled up and his free hand rose to stroke Elios chest, in an attempt to calm him down. He no longer had the self control to deny Elio what he wanted and he was so hard he felt like he could come just from the sounds Elio was making as he wiggled on the bed, calling out his own name and begging to be taken, fucked, owned._

_He rubbed lube on his cock and wrapped Elios hand around it, handing him the wheel. Elio played with his length, letting his fingers glide up and down the slick flesh before closing them around the tip. Elio twisted his wrist a couple times, sending pleasant shivers down Oliver's spine before guiding the cockhead towards his hole._

_Oliver watched as Elio made himself relax enough to slowly work the tip inside his body, inch by inch until he was completely inside the tight heat of Elios body, swallowed to the hilt with little resistance. Elio left his fingers trapped between their bodies, forming them into a tight ring that he squeezed around Oliver's shaft as he moved in and out of Elios body._

_Oliver moaned at the added stimulation, he pressed his body on top of Elio and bit his neck as he drove in deep and fast. Elios eyes rolled to the back of his head when Oliver started hitting his sweet spot harder with every stroke._

_“Fuck, you're so deep inside me right now.” Elio whimpered, before grabbing one of Oliver's hands and placing it on his tummy, “I can feel you right here.”_

_Oliver felt his body explode with pleasure, it was the most incredible feeling, riding the waves of ecstasy while he continued to thrust in and out of Elios tight hole, whispering sweet nothings against his ear, urging him to come for him._

_“That's it, baby. Let go for me.” Oliver encouraged him, and Elio locked his arms around Oliver's body, one hand skimming up and down his back. He bit into Oliver's shoulder when he thrusted hard and fast against his prostate. Elio closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, filling his lungs with Oliver's scent, relishing the taste of his skin._

_Words started to spill from Oliver's lips without his conscious permission. “You feel so good, Elio.” He was lost to the sensation of Elios tight heat and whimpered pleads for more, “I bet you don't even realize how much I-” He cut himself off before he said the one thing he knew he shouldn't say, couldn't say because they were on borrowed time._

_He picked up the pace, thrusting fast and wild, calling Elio “baby” as he pounded his hole, the nickname had the effect of an aphrodisiac on Elio, and when he grabbed a handful of Elios ass to spread him a little wider as he slammed into his entrance, he felt his orgasm rise within him. He came with a strangled cry, while Elios muscles continued to spasm around his cock. He looked up just in time to see his boy surrender to pleasure, coming all over his tummy, untouched._

_“Elio…”  Oliver looked into his eyes and slowly pressed their lips together sharing a tender kiss. Elio wound his fingers in Oliver's hair as he laid his head against the boys heart, listening to it beat fast and loud against his ear._

Olive woke disoriented, and his boxers were soaked with semen.

“Fuck.” Oliver groaned, before tossing the covers aside and slowly making his way towards the bathroom. He showered and stood in front of his closet with a towel wrapped around his waist debating what to wear, he tried to search his memories for any items of clothing he thought Elio might enjoy seeing him in.

Since it was cold outside he picked out a nice pair of jeans with a sweater, deciding to comb his hair while it was still wet so it wouldn't look too out of place. He felt nervous and uneasy the entire time he got ready.

It was ridiculous since he’d already called off the wedding which should've been the hardest part out of all of this and in some ways it was but somehow facing Elio was even worse.

His self doubt was kicking in, he worried Elio would turn him down, he couldn't stop his brain from supplying toxic thoughts: _you’re not good enough for him, you’re too old for him, he deserves someone better._

By the time he finally left his apartment he had a raging headache. His brain not allowing him a second of peace, like a broken record, constantly replaying all his doubts as Oliver made his way towards campus.

Elios dorm was not that far from his home and soon he found himself lurking near the front entrance to the large building, waiting for the opportunity to sneak his way in.

It took a few minutes but eventually a student opened the exit door and Oliver brushed past him before the door closed and locked from the inside.

Elios room was on the second floor, he took the stairs two at a time, suddenly feeling a strong need to get there faster, see him sooner. He was running on pure instinct, no set plan if Elio were to not be alone.

His heart was racing as he stood in front of the closed door that had a small dry erase board hanging from its center which contained Elio and his roommates names written on it with black marker.

He took a couple deep breaths before finding the courage to knock, taking a step back and listening closely for any noise signaling that someone was inside.

The air was knocked out of his lungs when the door was opened and Anthony’s confused expression punched him right in the gut.

“Professor? What are you doing here?” Anthony asked before his eyebrows raised in concern, “And what happened to your forehead? That looks like it hurt.” He pointed at the stitches.

Oliver took in the scene before him, Anthony was wearing a white wife beater with sweatpants that hung low on his hips and no shoes. He felt numb at the thoughts that started overloading his mind, he tried to focus.

“I was looking for Elio.” Oliver cleared his throat, “And this.” He ran his fingers through his hair, “It's nothing, just an accident.”

“Oh. Okay” Anthony nodded his understanding,

“Um, he’s taking a shower.” Anthony pointed in the direction of the bathroom, “I’ll go get him.”

The apartment was spacious, Oliver noted as he took in the view of a narrow hallway and living space he could see from where he still stood.

Elio had been spending time with Anthony alone in his apartment, Olivers entire body was shaking with anger at the images his mind conjured up of what they could’ve been doing this entire time.

He felt like he was going to be sick.

“You can wait in here if you’d like.” Anthony smiled at Oliver and it made his stomach turn, this kid was confident and charming, no wonder Elio was interested.

“No. That’s okay. I’ll just speak to him after class.” Oliver tried his best to reciprocate the smile.

“You sure? He’s not in trouble or anything, right? Anthony looked concern. “We’ve only been in your class for a couple of days, plus Elio seems so wonderful.” He chuckled, “At least from what I’ve gotten to know so far.”

Oliver had to bit the inside of his cheek and take a deep breath to control himself as he met  Anthony's eyes, the alpha male part of him wanting to show this boy that he was bigger than him, several inches taller. He was nearly overtaken with the urge to stake his claim on Elio by punching his own student in the face for being interested in his boy. When this kid had no idea Oliver was a sick bastard that had no right to even seek out Elio.

He had no right to be angry or hurt, yet he felt like a knife had been inserted in his back, right into his heart, Anthony holding the blade while Elio twisted it deeper.

Mostly he just felt helpless and defeated.

“No, he isn’t in any trouble. I just wanted to talk to him about a few things.” He rubbed the back of his neck, “But it can wait.” He took a step back, “I’ll see you in class.” He ducked his head a little and began walking away.

He was half way down the hall when he heard Elios voice,

“Oliver, wait!” the boy shouted.

His back was stiff with tension as he stopped, forcing himself not to glance back.

He didn’t want to look at Elio, he was afraid what he might see, Elios body bruised easily.

If Elio let Anthony touch him..he would instantly notice, unless the marks were in places clothes could conceal. He couldn’t stand the thought of them together, of Elio opening up to someone else, sharing himself and his most precious and intimate parts with this stranger that knew nothing about the things that matter to Elio.

He wanted to be as far away from here as possible, he felt like a beaten animal, a dumb fool for believing even for a second that they could be together.

When he looked up, Elio was standing there right in front of him. Wearing boxers and a towel wrapped around his shoulders, pretty little nipples on full display. He couldn’t control his eyes from scanning the exposed skin he could see, checking for proof of what his heart feared to be true.

Oliver swallowed hard when he was unable to locate any incriminating evidence and cleared his throat.

“What are you doing here?” Elio was out of breath, his curls were wet and plastered to his forehead.

“I wanted to talk to you.” He clenched his jaw, “But I know your busy.” He didn’t want to sound bitter but he couldn’t control the way his voice changed.  
  
Elio seemed concerned and kept staring at his forehead where the stitches were on full display, he should start wearing a hat.  
  
“Are you okay? Those stitches look painful.” Elio leaned in a little, got on his tippy toes and brushed his fingers through Oliver's hair.  
  
He couldn’t help but leaned into the touch and closed his eyes for a few seconds.  
  
“Me, okay.” He smiled at Elio, his chest hurt. He was too late, Elio was with Anthony now, he lost his chance.  
  
“That’s my line.” Elio said, returning the smile. “What did you want to talk about? How did you find my dorm?” The towel slipped a little off his left shoulder, exposing his freckled pale skin.  
  
Olivers mouth felt dry, “It doesn’t matter now. Anthony is probably waiting for you. I would hate to interrupt.” He placed his hands back in his pockets and started to walk “Have a nice time, Elio. You deserve it.”  
  
_Even if it’s not with me_.  
  
Elio called after him. “Let me put on a shirt and we can talk. I can tell Anthony something came up.”  
  
He shook his head before answering. “That’s alright. Don’t worry about it.”

Elio seemed upset and confused.  
  
But Oliver simply kept walking, leaving him behind without turning back. It hurt too much to do so. Elio had found someone else, and it was only fair that Oliver allow him the opportunity to move on. Even if he felt like dying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW. I had to dig deep to produce this chapter, I've been working on it for weeks now.  
> I'm actually kind of proud of it. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	9. And if you were drowned at sea, I would give you my lungs so you could breathe

He wasn’t sure how he made it back to his apartment, in one piece since he was in a daze, completely numb.

 That night he barely slept, everytime he closed his eyes and managed to drift off, images of Elio with Anthony would appear. Each worse than the last, in his dreams Elio would allow Antony to kiss him, touch him all over, and then they would start undressing.

 Oliver woke covered in sweat and stumbled to the bathroom and vomited the little he’d eaten the day before. He washed his face and brushed his teeth before checking the clock, it was four in the morning. It was too early to begin getting ready for the day, he felt like he was getting sick.

 He slowly made his way back to bed and curled up with a pillow against his chest, the hardest thing about being away from Elio was sleeping without him. He’d gotten so used to the familiar weight of the boy laying his head against Olivers chest, sometimes falling asleep on top of him, he missed sniffing his curls or wrapping his arms around his narrow waist.

It made him feel needed and wanted.

 Now he had to settle for a body pillow and an empty side of the bed. He only managed to get a couple hours of sleep before his alarm was going off and he felt like his head was going to explode.

 He took pain medication before leaving his apartment and tried so hard not to think about what Elio and Anthony might’ve done yesterday.

It was hard enough to know he’d have to watch them interact with each other in class. He was dreading it, making himself nauseous with the crippling anxiety of knowing in just a few hours he’d have to stand in front of the entire class and not appear visibly upset.

 He would fake indifference, Oliver spent the entire morning mentally coaching himself on how he would act once his afternoon class started.

  _Don’t look at him_.

_Act like he isn’t there._

_You’ll be okay, eventually it won’t hurt so much._

 By the time four twenty five came around and his students started to walk in, Oliver felt clammy and unsteady.

 He could hear Anthony laughing as he told a story in great detail to Elio who was attentively listening. He felt his blood boil at the way Elio seemed to only have eyes for Anthony, not sparing Oliver a glance even when he walked into the room.

 At least this would make his plan a little easier to execute, he would avoid any and all eye contact with the pair, he would avoid any interact with the boy if possible. Space and time would help him heal. He kept telling himself that even when he felt like he had a gaping hole where his heart used to be.

 He started his lesson and drove into it without allowing himself to think of anything else but the subject material, though there were a few moments where he could’ve swore he felt Elios stare from across the room. He never looked in his direction to check if his suspicions were true or not.

 By the end of class Oliver was emotionally exhausted but proud of himself for having succeeded in his plan.

 The students were slowly making their way out of the room, and he was sitting at his desk gathering his papers, with no intention of staying any longer than necessary. He knew Elio and Anthony were still around and he wanted to flee before he could hear them flirting.

 He stood up, with his head down and started to walk towards the exit.

 “Hey. Professor O!” Anthony called after him.

 His back went stiff with tension.

 “How’s your head? Elio here was worried about ya.” Anthony put his arm around Elio in a friendly hug. “He’s just too shy today to say it.”

 Elio stared at him with his eyebrows scrunched together in concern.

 It made Oliver see red, he wanted to break Anthony’s arm, starting with his fingers.

 But he couldn’t, it seemed like it was a welcomed contacted, or at least that’s what he thought since Elio did nothing to push Anthony’s arm off his shoulder. They were probably fucking each other and the realization made his stomach drop, he thought he could handle this but he was wrong.

 He turned around to face them. “I’m fine. No need to worry.” Oliver said, his voice drained of emotion and his eyes looking at anything else but the pair. He pulled the strap on his bag a little tighter against his chest “I’m running late for a meeting.” He turned back around and began to walk away “Later.” He uttered as a goodbye.

 He could hear Anthony say “Later pro!” As he exited the room.

 Oliver wasn’t sure how he would survive an entire semester of this torture. He went back to his apartment and thought about going out, getting drunk and maybe bring someone home. But the notion of sleeping with someone else just made him sad, he wasn’t sure he could get hard even with alcohol in his system. If he did find someone to fuck, he would just compare them to Elio, or think about Elio or wish it were Elio.

_Elio Elio Elio_

 It was on constant repeat in his head, he knew he had it bad and that he needed to move on. Clearly Elio had, since he was already sleeping with someone else. He decided against going out and stayed in, drinking alone before going to sleep.

 And that became his routine for the first two weeks, he’d wake up, go to class, avoid any and all interactions with the boy and then he’d come home and drink himself into an early grave.

 Elio tried getting his attention once by raising his hand to answer a question but Oliver selected a different student and Elio looked like a kicked puppy from what Oliver could make out from the corner of his eye since he didn’t allow himself to look in the boys direction.

 He went out with a group of his buddies to a bar, Oliver told them about the split with Elizabeth and they’d all been bugging him to join them, that it would make him feel better. He liked the music and the drinks were free since his friends offered to pay, he was starting to feel a little buzzed and he noticed a guy that looked a lot like Elio, slender body, dark short curls, sitting by himself.

 He made an excuse with the guys and told them he’d be right back, walking toward the boy who was leaning against the bar top, they exchanged brief glances and Oliver wasn’t sure what the hell he was doing, for all he knew this guy could be straight and would beat his ass for suggesting otherwise.

 He stood there for a few seconds just staring at this guy that resembled Elio, his heart ached. He was that pathetic, even his hook ups would look like Elio. The guys drink was almost completely consumed and he gestured for the bartender to make him another one.

 “That one will be on me.” Oliver told the bartender, getting a nod in response.

 “Thank you.” The boy smiled at him and Oliver instantly could tell the difference between this man and Elio, his smile although friendly, did not make Oliver feel like he was coming home. Only Elios smile made him feel that way.

 “Are you having a good time tonight?” It had been a long time since Oliver tried to flirt with someone, he felt awkward and unsteady.

 “I am now that you offered me a drink.” The guy smirked and leaned in a little closer.

 This was dangerous, his friends were only a few tables away, probably wondering where he’d gone. But he wanted to see if he could get off with someone else, he wanted to get Elio out of his system.

 “Well I’m glad you like what you see.” He could pretend to be charming and likable, it was a role he’d been perfecting all his life.

 The guy started touching Olivers bicep, while they made casual conversation. The guys eyes were a light brown and clearly dilated from arousal and alcohol

 Oliver’s dick remained soft in his slacks, even after giving the guys body a once over. His curls were similar to Elios, but a lot shorter and styled with gel.

 He missed Elios curls and the way they smelled when he would sniff them at night while the boy slept peacefully in his arms or the way they felt when he ran his fingers through them.

 He shook his head to clear it. _No. Stop thinking about him._

 “I’m going to take a leak.” The guy whispered in Oliver’s ear. “You should come with me.”

 Oliver felt cold and sweaty, he cleared his throat. He knew what this guy was offering. This would be the true test, to go through with this and not think of Elio, it would help him move on.

 He agreed and followed the boy into the bathroom, which luckily was completely empty, Oliver was guided into the far end stall, then pushed against the wall.

 “Fuck, I bet you have a big cock.” The guy was working on unbuttoning Oliver’s pants and undoing his belt.

 Oliver panicked. “W-wait a second. I don’t even know your name.” He stammered and the guy paused and looked up with furrowed brows.

 “Why does it matter?” The guy looked annoyed.

“You don’t need to know my name for me to deep throat your dick.”

 “Call me old fashioned.” Oliver rubbed his chest with his hands, unsure of what to do with them.  “M-my names Oliver.”

 “Ohkay.” The guy mocked him before answering. “My names Peter.” The kid got on his knees and attempted to resume undoing Oliver’s slacks before he stopped him again.

 “How old are you?” Peter looked young, if Oliver had to take a guess, no younger than eighteen. 

 “Geez. If you don’t want me to suck your dick then just say so.” The guy got up and walked away.

 Oliver made no attempt to stop him or follow, he’d made a mistake. The entire time his body was rejecting the thought of being touched by someone else that wasn’t Elio.

 He felt hot tears stream down his cheeks as he sat by himself on a dirty bathroom floor, drunk and miserable.

 After his mental break down in the bathroom, Oliver splashed some cold water on his face and waited a few minutes for his cheeks to turn to their natural color though his eyes were puffy and slightly red.

 He walked back to their table, grateful that he didn’t see the boy, who probably left the bar. His friends did not comment on his extended absence but gave him weary side glances, they could tell he’d been crying.

 Oliver made his excuses and left the bar shortly after, his friends hugging him tightly and telling him they’d be checking up on him next week. They were good people, he knew they were trying to help and he wanted to tell them, to have someone to confide in. But he couldn’t. He was too afraid of their reactions if they found out.

 That night he looked at himself in the bathroom mirror, he normally would shave every other day to avoid getting stubble, but he just couldn’t find the will to keep up with the routine, after a week he had more than just a five-o'clock shadow, he was venturing into a full blown beard and he couldn’t care less.

 One of his students actually complimented him in front of the whole class one day after he’d finished his lecture.

 “Wow professor, are you growing a beard?” Said Liliana, who was one of his outgoing, bubbly students. She also liked to outwardly flirt with Oliver even when he never spoke to her in anything other than a professional manner.

 “I have to say, it suits you.” She smiled at him while other students whistled their approval.

 “Alright, alright. Enough of that.” He smiled as he gestured for them to settle down.

 He could feel Elios stare burning a hole into his side as he dismissed the class. He wondered what Elio thought about his new appearance. He probably hadn’t even noticed or cared.

 It had been three weeks since the last time they interacted, and not once had Elio made an attempt to speak to Oliver outside of class. The boy kept his distance and no longer participated aside from turning in his assignments on time.

 It hurt, and not a day went by that Elio didn’t cross Oliver’s mind, his brain would conjure excuses to speak to him again, the weak needy part of him that wanted to find a way to be around him again,  that missed him so much that it made him desperate. He never gave in to his impulses but his self control was starting to weaken.

 He walked around passing out the results of the latest exam the class had taken, his palms were sweaty by the time he made his rounds and he was near the boys desk, Anthony was absent today so he allowed himself to look, it had been so long since he’d let himself stare. Elio was writing notes, temporarily unaware.

 His legs were slightly spread and he’d taken off his jacket, he was wearing a white T-shirt that clearly outlined his tiny little nipples which were hard from the cold. It made Olivers cock twitch, he still remembered the sounds he could get Elio to make whenever he sucked on them.

  _Fuck._ This was a bad idea.

 Once he reached Elios desk, he placed the test faced down near the edge of the flat surface. Elio looked up and Oliver’s heart skipped a beat.

 He forgot how good it felt to be the center of Elio's attention, his beautiful dark eyelashes fluttering as he blinked a few times, while biting his lower lip. It was memorizing. The growing tension between them was thick and Oliver felt like he could choke on it.

 He should stop staring and head back to his desk but his feet felt glued to the ground.

 “Did I do something wrong?” Elio whispered, he looked sad and it made Oliver uneasy.

 “W-what do you mean?” It felt surreal that they were even exchanging words right now.

 “You know why.” Elio started to fidget in his seat, clearly wanting to say more but holding back. This was not the place or time to have this conversation. His students luckily were all talking and completely unaware of what was going on.

 “This isn’t the time to talk about this, Elio.” Oliver stood there staring down at the boy who looked so beautiful, Olivers hands were shaking and he put them inside his pockets to prevent himself from reaching out and touching.

 “There’s never going to be a right time, since you refuse to talk to me. Or even look at me for that matter.” Elio was angry, Oliver could tell by his tone, he wasn’t sure why.

 “What is there to talk about?” Oliver wanted to drop to his knees and lay his head against Elios lap, bury his face against the boys tummy.

 “I can’t believe you're even asking me that.” Elio looked away, shaking his head in disbelief. His curls moved with him and it was so distracting. Oliver had no idea what to say, he was overwhelmed from being this close to him again after avoiding him for so long.

 “I should’ve known, I disgust you so much that you can’t even stand to look at me huh.” Elio whispered that last part, looking up at Oliver with tears in his eyes.

 That caught him by surprise, Elio looked so upset it hit Oliver like a punch to the gut.

 Before he could say anything in response one of his students called out his name, and he had to walk away. He could see Elio wiping tears off his cheeks with his wrist from the corner of his eye.

 By the time class was over he felt reckless, Elio was forcefully packing his things, clearly still upset.

 Oliver stood up and made his way toward Elio, only a few students were left in the room and they were walking toward the exit.

 “Hey. Wait.” Oliver reached out and grabbed Elios wrist, rubbing his thumb over the pulse point, the contact sent a shiver down his spine.

 “Dont touch me. You don’t get to do that anymore.” Elio tried to pull away but Oliver refused to let go. “When you’ve been avoiding me like the plague for weeks now.”

 “But Anthony can.” Oliver was too tired to mask his hurt.

 “What does he have to do with this?” Elio asked, he looked confused and angry.

 “You let him touch you all the time.” Oliver averted his gaze as Elio continued to stare with his mouth open, completely stunned.

 “So what if he does? It’s none of your business.” Elio snatched his hand out of Olivers grasp, “Did you forget you're engaged.” Elio all but spat that last part out.

 “Actually.” Oliver said, taking a deep breath before continuing, “I’m not anymore.” He ran his fingers through his hair, unsure of why he was telling Elio when he swore he’d keep his distance.

 “W-What?” Elio stuttered.

 “I called it off.” He looked into Elios eyes, allowing all the love and longing he felt filter through, let Elio see it. He didn’t care anymore.

 “And you didn’t bother to tell me?” Elio was breathing hard and his hands were balled into fists, he was getting himself really worked up.

 Oliver took a step toward the boy, who’s nose started to bleed. “Elio. Please calm down. Let me get you to the bathroom, your nose is bleeding.”

 “It’s not like you care!” Elio shouted, “You could’ve told me. I deserved to know.” There was a steady stream of blood now that was slowly making its way down Elios cheeks to his shirt at an alarming rate. Whenever Elio got nose bleeds he’d get light headed, Oliver was worried he’d faint.

 “Elio. Hey. Please. Listen to me.” Oliver reached out and wrapped his arm around Elios waist bring the boy flush against Olivers chest.

 Elio tried to push him away but Oliver was larger and stronger. “Tilt your chin up, to help stop the bleeding.” Elio refused to listen until he made himself dizzy enough to pause his movements and hold onto Olivers chest for support.

 This was bad, they were still inside his now empty classroom, anyone could walk in and catch them like this. Elio went limp against Olivers chest and fear seized him.

 “The room’s spinning.” Elio whispered. The fight completely leaving his body.

Oliver supported Elios weight, tempted to pick the boy up in his arms but fighting against the impulse since they were still inside campus.

 “I know. Come on, let’s get you to the nurse.” He buried his face against Elios curls, taking a deep breath, inhaling his scent. It was like coming home, he closed his eyes for a few moments before using his dress shirt to wipe at Elios face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has left this little story a kudos or comment, I am terrible at responding back to  
> comments but I do read every single one of them and they make me smile, keep me motivated, and make me very happy. 
> 
> and if there's anything you'd like to see included in this story, send me a dm [here](http://www.instagram.com/parleroumourir), I am open to suggestions.


	10. If I was dying on my knees, you would be the one to rescue me

Elio shook his head in weak protest, “N-No nurse, I’ll be okay.” The boy didn’t seem to realize he was clinging to Oliver's body, his arms wrapped around his waist with his head safely tucked against Oliver's chest. 

He suppressed a smile, it felt good to hold Elio again, his heart was beating so fast he was sure Elio could hear it.

‘“Well, there’s no way I’m letting you walk by yourself back to your dorm like this.” He looked down at the boy who had scrunched up the end of his shirt against his nose to stop the bleeding but now the fabric was damp with the red fluid and clearly visible since Elio wore a white shirt.

Elio looked like he wanted to protest but thought better than to argue, sensing he would lose the battle.

“I have a spare shirt in my apartment that you can borrow, come.” He tried to steer the boy towards the exit but he refused to move.

“Elio, please, let me take care of you.” Oliver pleaded.

“Why do you suddenly care so much?” Elio pushed his body away from Oliver and held himself, shivering and still with a bloody nose.

It made Olivers uneasy to see Elio this upset, “I’ve always cared this much, how can you even think anything different?”

He took a step towards the boy but Elio refused to let Oliver touch him.

“The reason should be obvious.” Elio said defensively.

He was getting himself worked up again and Oliver's hands were trembling at his sides, using all his self control not to reach out and try to comfort the boy again.

“I think there's a lot we need to talk through.” Oliver put his hand in his pockets, it was safer if he kept them there for now.

They stared at each other for a few moments in complete silence, the only thing that could be heard was the faint background noise of activity going on in the hallway. Oliver internally pleading with Elio to listen to reason.

Eventually Elio nodded his head before speaking. “Okay. We can talk.” His nose was no longer bleeding but his nostrils had crusted blood outlining them.

“I think it's best if you walk out first and I’ll follow you closely behind.” Oliver offered Elio his jacket and gave him some tissues to wipe the blood from his face.

The jacket made Elio look small and ruffled, it pulled at Oliver's heart strings. He loved the idea that Elio would smell like him now, that he was surrounded in something that contained his natural scent.

Elio rolled up the sleeves as best he could so they wouldn’t hang past his hands and picked up his book bag. Oliver watched him slowly exit the room and the strong pull to follow was something almost physical like magnets.

He waited a few minutes before walking out and instantly searching the hall for the mop of curly hair. He bumped into a coworker because the universe was against him apparently.

“Oliver, hey!” Fred greeted him, “Want to catch a bite to eat, you had your last class of the day right?”

“Hey man.” Oliver smiled and kept looking around hoping Elio hadn’t ran off or assumed Oliver had changed his mind about talking.

“Maybe some other time, I have a lot of papers to grade, it’s gonna be a long night.” He lied through his teeth and start to side step his coworker who seemed disappointed.

“Is that blood on your shirt?” Fred’s eyebrows shot up with concern.

“Oh this.” Oliver started to nervously laugh, he felt slightly hysterical. “I spilled some ketchup on my shirt from a breakfast biscuit I was eating.”

“Damn, that’s going to be a pain in the ass to get out the fabric,” Fred shook his head before clapping Oliver on the back in a friendly clap. “Alright man, let's get together soon. See ya.”

“Later.” Oliver said, he was pleasantly surprised that his coworker bought the lie and started to lightly jog towards the direction he felt Elio would’ve gone.

He found the boy leaning against a wall, looking small in Olivers jacket, it made his cock twitch in the confines of his slacks. He loved seeing Elio wear his clothes. He never realized how possessive he could be till now, he wanted everyone to know that the boy belonged to him, mark his neck like a collar, signifying ownership. He wanted Elio to wear only his shirts with nothing else on.

He shook his head to clear it from that train of thought, and followed Elio back to his apartment.

Once they were inside, Elio awkwardly stood by the door, weary of walking any further as if his presence in Olivers space was unwanted.

“You’re more than welcome to take a seat,” Oliver smiled, unable to help himself. Just being around Elio brought him happiness, he felt whole again.

Elio tentatively approached the living room and sat down on the very edge of the couch.

Oliver offered him a glass of water before taking a seat on a nearby recliner.

Elio appeared to realize something and placed his glass of water down on the coffee table, “I’m sorry, for staining your jacket.” He said as he slowly undid the zipper, “I can pay to get it professionally cleaned.” His shirt was wrinkled and riding up a little while he stood to hand Oliver his jacket.

Oliver couldn’t help but notice Elios exposed  tummy and the happy trail leading towards his crotch, causing memories to resurface of the countless times he sucked the boy off. He missed the taste of Elios cock, the smell and weight of him against his tongue.

“That’s not necessary.” Oliver stood, staring down at Elio for a moment before moving around the room. “Let me get you a clean shirt.”

He realized his own stained dress shirt and removed it without really thinking much about it. Elio however began to fidget in his seat and refused to make eye contact with Oliver.

“You should take off your shirt, it’s a lost cause unless you want me to try and remove the stains with bleach.” Oliver waited expectantly but the boy remained still with his hands on his lap.

“I-I’ll change in the bathroom.” Elio cleared his throat.

“Seriously. You suddenly feel uncomfortable being shirtless around me, but you were in just your boxers around Anthony.” He couldn’t help the anger that was making his blood boil. Or the hurt he felt at realizing that things had changed between them.

“It’s different with him.” Elio stood up, instantly defensive.

“Right. It’s different because you’re sleeping with him.” Oliver wanted the ground to swallow him whole that way he didn’t have to hear Elio confirm what he already suspected.

He turned away from the boy and punched the wall. “It’s too late isn’t it” He put his head against the wall for a moment “I’ve already lost you.” He whispered to himself.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and tossed the shirt in his hands across the room.

“You have no right to be this upset.” Elio was shouting and when Oliver turned around he noticed Elios red eyes and tear stained cheeks. He hated how often he’d made Elio cry in the past couple weeks. The boy deserved better.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He had to swallow his pride and admit he was being a possessive jerk.

He turned his back to the boy with the intention of walking towards the bedroom. Elio reached out and grabbed Olivers bicep, “Why did you end your engagement?”

The contact sent sparks up and down his spine, he felt touched starved. He slowly turned around and leaned into the touch a little.

“I-I couldn’t marry someone I’m not in love with. I knew it was something I’d regret.” He answered earnestly.

Elio bit his bottom lip and looked away, “You should’ve told me.” He removed his hand and Oliver instantly missed the contact. “I thought you were getting married soon.” Elio’s voice cracked as he continued to speak, “I-I thought you were avoiding me because of what we did together last summer.”

“I went to your apartment to tell you but Anthony was there and I just.” Oliver took a deep breath and tried to explain how hurt he felt, without accusing Elio, it wasn’t his fault. He was allowed to move on. “Didn’t think it was the right time.”

“Not the right time? Were you just going to wait till I assumed you were married?” Elio took a step towards him and pointed his index finger on the center of Olivers chest, “I-I haven’t been sleeping, or eating for that matter, dreading the day you’d tell me you were married.” Tears were free falling from the boys cheeks and Oliver just simply couldn’t take it anymore

“I’m sorry, Elio.” Oliver wrapped his arms around the boys smaller body, pressing him flush against Olivers bare chest, fending off Elios weak attempts at being released.

“Hey, stop that. Listen to me.” He gently lifted Elios chin and caressed the boys pouty lips with his thumb. “I never intended on hurting you.” Oliver became memorized by the boys mouth and it took him a few seconds to focus enough to continue speaking “I was afraid of my feelings for you, and how we would even make this work if you wanted a relationship, you're so young.”

Elio closed his eyes and nodded his head in understanding.

“I thought I was doing what was best for you, but that doesn't excuse the fact that I should’ve found another way instead of proposing to Elizabeth.” Oliver was so full of regret, if he could go back in time and reverse it all, he would.

“I-I didn’t sleep with Anthony.” Elio opened his eyes and stared up at Oliver with tears still clinging to his eyelashes, “He kissed me that day that you came over.” Oliver couldn’t help the way his body went completely still at the confession. “I thought about sleeping with him. That’s actually why I was in the shower when you showed up.” Elio smirked, “But then I heard your voice, and I saw you leaving and I simply couldn’t go through with it.” 

“Why not?” Oliver released the grip he had on the boys body and took a step back, he tried to swallow down the nausea. “Anthony is unafraid, and clearly wants you.” He tried to keep his voice even as he spoke, “Y-You deserve someone like him.” Yet his voice cracked at the end of the sentence.

“Because I want you.” Elio whispered.

“You shouldn’t. I’m a coward.” Oliver hated himself but loved this boy so much. He was selfish and so tired of denying himself what his heart desired. “For what it’s worth, I want you too, Elio.”

“I-I’ve missed you.” Elio wrapped his arms around himself, shivering. “Please don’t avoid me again.”

“Fuck. Elio, I missed you so much too.” Oliver hesitantly got closer, “Can I touch you?” He felt like an asshole for all the times he grabbed Elio recently without his consent.

“Yes, please.” Elio said and it was all the permission Oliver needed to wrap his arms around the boys smaller body.

He rubbed Elios back with his hands and sniffed his curls, feeling giddy with adrenaline. Elio wiggled and attempted to dodge Olivers wandering fingers as he tried to tickle Elios sides.

“Oliver!” Elio swatted at his wandering hands. “Quit it.” He said in between gasps and laughter.

“Alright, alright.” He nuzzled the boys neck and felt Elio tentatively caressing his bare chest and abs. It felt so good to be touched like this again by Elio, he missed it so much, it made him desperate for more.

“Were you trying to seduce me by taking off your shirt?” Elio laughed when Oliver looked offended by the suggestion.

“No. I was not.” Oliver poked Elio for his cheeky comment, “Was it working?”

Elio blushed, his porcelain skin turning a pretty pink color. “M-maybe.”

"It was so hard to stay away from you, Elio.” Oliver placed his larger hands on the boys narrow waist, his thumb rubbing soothing circles against the skin that was exposed from his shirt riding up on his tummy.

“You could’ve fooled me.” Elio looked down, penstive. He looked sad, his expressive face giving away how much it’d hurt him.

“Look at me.” Oliver gently grabbed Elios face with both his hands and forced the boys eyes back on him. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I dreamt about you every night.” Oliver massaged the back of Elios neck, “I’m good at hiding, at pretending like things don’t bother me. It’s so hard for me to open up, but I’m willing to try.” Oliver leaned in and kissed the boys left cheek. When he pulled away he continued to speak, “I want you to know how much I care.”

Oliver took the pad of his thumb and touched the freckles on Elios cheek. “ How much I need you.”

Elio leaned into the touch, and they both smiled.

“I need to know something, please be honest with me.” Oliver felt so nervous as he tried to build up the courage to speak.

Elio nodded his head.

“Are you interested in seeing Anthony? And before you say anything else, I know you mentioned you two haven’t slept together but…”

Oliver let go of Elio and took a step back, “I don’t want to cross any lines if you two are seeing each other.”

Elio smiled and began to sway from side to side, “You’re jealous of Anthony aren’t you.”

“That didn’t answer my question.” Oliver cleared his throat and crossed his arms.

“Don’t get all grumpy. I’m just teasing.” Elio unfolded Oliver's arms and nestled against his chest. “No, we aren’t seeing each other. We only kissed that one time I told you about and he asked me on a date this Friday.”

Oliver went completely stiff. “D-Did you say yes?” Elio had his arms wrapped around Oliver's waist and his curls were rubbing against Olivers collarbone.

“I told Anthony, I’d let him know after class tomorrow.” Elios response was muffled.

“I see.” Olivers mind began to race, was Elio considering the offer? Even after they’d talked and were holding each other like this. Oliver wasn’t sure how to ask, or how to plead for Elio not to go, he had no right to say anything.

“Elio, I would like a second chance.” The boy took a step back and looked at him.

“I’d like that very much.” Elio smiled up at Oliver and it made his heart skip a beat.

“But I can't share you.” Olivers hands were sweating and he felt self conscious that Elio could feel it. His eyes frantically searching Elios face as he tried to find the right words.

“Share me? What do you mean?” Elio got on his tippy-toes and ran his fingers through Oliver's hair.

Oliver closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, savoring it.

“I-I can’t do friends with benefits. Elio, if you wanted to be with Anthony, I can stay out of the way.” Oliver shiver, from the chill of the room but also from the thought of losing the boy. “I need to know that you’re mine, and only mine.” He opened his eyes and stared at Elios beautiful face, trying to memorize his features in case this was the last time they were this close ever again.

“Oliver.” Elio said as he tugged on Oliver’s hair, not hard but enough to prove his point. “Are you blind? Can’t you see, I’ve always belonged to you. Since the day we met.”

He felt dizzy with relief, dropping to his knees and burying his face against Elios tummy, hugging his tiny body.

Elio tried to suppress a laugh before pushing Olivers head away from his belly, “It tickles.”

“I’m yours too Elio, please believe that.” He pressed kisses against the boys chest, causing Elio to whimper when his lips grazed one of his nipples. Oliver pulled back a little and looked up, “Elio, will you go on a date with me?”

Elio cradled Oliver's face in his hands, his fingers caressing Olivers beard. “I’d love to.”

“I want to deserve this.” Oliver said in between kisses against his tummy, licking the happy trail right below Elios navel. “I want to show you how much you mean to me.” Oliver continued to pepper kisses all over the boys chest, taking off his shirt in the process.

“Oliver.” Elio whined. “Touch me, please.”

He stood up and grabbed Elios hand, leading him into the bedroom before pushing him against the wall, their chests were pressed together. Olivers voice rumbled through him as his wide palm rubbed slow circles across the dip of Elios lower back. “I’m here, baby.”

The boy clung to him, with a heated knowing look in his eyes, and Oliver smirked as he felt Elios hands undoing his belt and zipper. He moved them from the wall towards the bed, Elio landing on his back with a cute yip. Oliver crawled onto the bed, up between Elio’s legs, slotted together like lovers again.

Elio could barely move, his legs falling open to accommodate Olivers hips, the boys hands settling shakily on Olivers biceps.

“Is this what you wanted?” Oliver asked, pushing Elios sweaty curls back away from his forehead as their eyes met.

All Elio could do was nod, his mouth open and his bottom lip trembling.

This felt like a dream to Oliver, had to be. He hoped to never wake from it.

He rocked his hips against Elio, so the boy could feel how hard he was. Elio whimpered, squeezing Olivers hips between his thighs.

Oliver leans in and finally kisses those pouty lips he’d missed so much, his tongue licking in gently over Elios own, it was slow, it was perfect. And when Elio started to suck on Olivers tongue and roll his hips, rubbing his own erection against Olivers hard on, his eyes roll back into his head in total ecstasy.

Oliver pulled away slowly for air and looked down at the boy, licking spit off his own lips. Elios was crying.

“What's wrong, baby?” He asked, sounding breathless.

“I-I thought I’d never get to do this again with you. I thought I lost you.” Elio sniffed and used the back of his hand to wipe away the tears from his cheeks.

“You didn't lose me, Elio.” Oliver began to kiss the boy again, Elio felt so small underneath him, so lithe and delicate. Oliver kissed him deeper, folding down over him perfectly while Elio rutted up into him, chasing the friction.

The sound of the doorbell ringing frantically caused them both to pause, Elip whimpering when Oliver pulled away.

“Fuck.” Oliver said with a chuckle.

The doorbell continued to go off and loud knocking could be heard echoing through the small apartment. 

“Were you expecting company?” Elio huffed.

“I’m sorry, baby.” Oliver looked down at Elio with nothing but love in his eyes, “I wasn't expecting anyone, I have no idea who it could be.”

“Why can't we just ignore it.” Elio said, pouting.

“It could be an emergency.” Oliver said as the ringing continued and the knocking became more frantic.

He got off the bed, he went into his closet and pulled on a black shirt, “Wait here, I’ll go check what's going on.” Oliver spoke as he adjusted his cock into a position that wouldn't be too noticeable that he still had a hard on and zipped his pants back up, his belt was somewhere on the ground and he didn't bother getting it.

“Fine.” Elio glared at him with his arms crossed. “Tell them to fuck off.”

Oliver laughed and couldn't resist kissing Elio one last time before exiting the room.  

He walked through the hallway towards the front door, he didn't bother looking through the peephole, assuming it was someone he knew.

When he opened the door and stood face to face with Elizabeth, it made his blood run cold.

“We need to talk.” She said.

Oliver held the door only half way open. “Right now is not the best time.” He swallowed down the dread.

“Not the best time? Do you have someone over?” She exclaimed. “Wow, you do, don't you.”

She tried to push her way in but Oliver was stronger and did not budge. “What's gotten into you?”  He asked, hoping Elio had not heard her shouting.

“I meant nothing to you, you're already sleeping with someone else. Is she the reason you ended our engagement?” Elizabeth exclaimed, making so much noise there was no way Elio had not heard.

“Please. Let's not do this right now. I can meet you somewhere and we can talk like civilized adults.” Oliver tried to reason with her.

“This cant wait.” Her eyes were piercing, expression cold and full of anger, “I’m pregnant.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone.
> 
> This was a monster update for me, since I normally would only really write small one page chapters. Also I managed to product this a lot quicker than normal, remember when I didnt update for like four months? lol 
> 
> Fun fact: this story was originally intended on only being three chapters total, just a mini little ficlet. 
> 
> Yet here we are: chapter 10. This would not be possible without all your kudos, comments, and Direct messages. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to leave me such meaningful comments on here especially, they warm my heart and keep me inspired. 
> 
> Also, no worries. I will never give you a sad ending so although things may be rocky between these two, it will all work out in the end, I swear.
> 
> Come yell at me [here](http://www.instagram.com/parleroumourir)


	11. So I'm never gonna dance again, the way I danced with you

Oliver stood there shell shocked for a few moments, it felt like a lifetime had gone by before his body kicked back into action and he stepped out of his apartment, carefully closing the door behind him.

Before turning to face Elizabeth whom was still glaring daggers at him.

“Thats not possible and you know it.” Oliver crossed his arms and held her gaze, feeling angry and betrayed. He knew she was lying, grasping at straws to pull him back into that dark hole in which they were both willingly walking towards before, with their engagement.

Oliver refused to be used as a tool for someone else's agenda, he thought he knew her, he thought she was better than this, it hurt to realize, he may have been wrong.

“Are you calling me a liar?” She raised her voice again, eyes red with unshed tears. She pushed at his chest before sobbing and hiding her face against his neck, clinging to him.

“Elizabeth.” Oliver tried to get her to focus on his voice, she became hysterical and it was starting to worry him. He didn't want her to faint in the hall with Elio in his apartment. “Hey, can you look at me,” He lifted her chin with his hand and forced her to hold his gaze. “Take a deep breath and try to calm down, okay?”

She nodded her head and focused on mimicking his breathing.

“I’m not calling you a liar.” He held her for a few more seconds before releasing his hold and she took a hestaint step back. “But we used protection.” Oliver murmured, still holding out hope that Elio was unaware of what was going on.

“Like condoms don't break, seriously Oliver?” She wrapped her arms around her body and looked small and helpless.

“Even if the condom had broken, we haven't slept together in months.” Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose. Taking a deep breath to control his temper. “Since before I left for Italy. Liz, you can't expect me to believe youre pregnant.”

“How will your parents react when they find out you refuse to support their grandchild?” She sneered at him.

“I thought you were better than this.” Oliver pulled at his hair in utter frustration and disbelief. “If you want to lie to them and create problems for both of us, then go right ahead. But I’m done with this conversation, and with you.” Oliver tried turning around and opening the door when Elizabeth grabbed him by his shoulder, forcing him to turn around and acknowledge what she was about to say.

“Is she worth it?” Elizabeth asked, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Is she worth throwing away everything we built together, all the years we devoted to each other, I thought we had something good, Oliver. I thought you loved me.” She pushed forward and kissed his lips in a desperate attempt at reconciliation.

Oliver was caught off guard by the kiss and gently pushed her body away.

“Liz. Go home.” He said, gentle but with a tone that indicated he would not change his mind. “Please go home and take care of yourself.” He opened the door and closed it, leaving her bewildered and speechless.

Once inside, he saw Elio standing in the middle of the living room, wearing one of Olivers long sleeve shirts. With his bag slung over his shoulder.

“I’m sorry it took so long baby.” He smiled at Elio. “Are you going somewhere?” His heart started beating really fast, anxiety making his stomach turn.

“I am.” Elio said, his voice drained of emotion. His gaze unreadable and stony.

“What?” Oliver took a step towards the boy and Elio took a step back instantly. “You just got here. You can't go.”

Oliver started to feel the desperation growing like a disease that was spreading through his body at a rapid speed.

“Congratulations, when were you planning on telling me she was pregnant?” Elios voice cracked.

“Elio. I can explain this. Please just don’t leave.” He held his hands up in a peace offering. Letting Elio know without words that he would not attempt to touch him.

“A baby, Oliver. I can’t do this. I’m just some dumb kid to you.” Elio bit his bottom lip, his eyes glassy with tears, his cheeks turning pink from his distress.

“Don’t do that.” Oliver stood by the door, his hands in his pockets, “I don’t see you as just some kid, you mean so much to me.” Oliver plead with his gaze for Elio to believe him.

“How can you possibly explain this?” Elio pulled at his curls, his backpack slipping from his shoulder before he readjusted it. “You can’t expect me to believe you didn’t sleep with her.”

“The last time we slept together was before I left for Italy, and we used protection.” Oliver hated talking about this with Elio, he hated the way Elio flinched as Oliver stated the obvious, that he’d slept with her, even if it was in the past.

“Condoms break all the time.” Elio sniffed and used the sleeve of Oliver’s shirt to wipe away his tears.

Oliver chuckled at the irony of hearing that sentence again. “They can.” He huffed. “But I pulled out before I came in the condom.”

Elios eyebrows shot up his forehead in surprise. “I thought—“

Oliver shook his head, “I know what you thought.” He took a tentative step toward the boy, cautious not to startle him with any sudden movements like a spooked animal.

“I've only ever not worn a condom with you. Elio.” Oliver took the remaining steps it took to be right in front of the boy. He slowly grabbed at Elios backpack, and placed it on the couch.

“B-But if that’s true. Then, Oliver.. she cheated on you.” Elio sounded upset, as if the notion of Elizabeth sleeping with someone else was something Elio should be upset about. “Aren’t you upset?”

“I’m disappointed that she’d stoop so low as to lie about a pregnancy to force me to marry her.” Oliver hesitantly placed his palms on Elios hips, pulling the boy flush against his chest. “But no, I’m not upset. I want her to find happiness with someone who can love her the way she deserves.” He buried his face in Elios curls and took a deep breath, inhaling Elios intoxicating scent.

“B-But what if she tells your parents?” Elio hesitantly wrapped his arms around Oliver’s waist, resting his head fully on Oliver’s chest.

“I don’t know what I’ll do, Elio. They’ve been helping me financially.” Oliver pulled away to look down at Elio, it felt so good to have the boy in his arms again. “Being a teacher does not pay well, in America. They will cut me off, probably disown me when they find out I called off the wedding.” Elios eyes went comically large with concern.

“They can’t do that, you’re their son!” Elio exclaimed, in complete disbelief.

“My parents aren’t like yours, baby. They are very conservative and strict. If they ever knew that I’m– if they ever found out about you. They’d find a way to take you away from me.” Oliver felt overwhelmed, tears free falling once he closed his eyes.

He felt Elios hands as they cupped his face, using the pad of his fingertips to slowly wiped away the tears, before standing on his tippy toes to kiss Oliver’s cheeks, his eye lids, his forehead before kissing his lips. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Elio took a step back and offered his hand for Oliver to hold, before leading him to the bedroom.

“No more interruptions, okay? I’ve missed you.” Elio let go of Oliver’s hand to remove his clothes.

“You’re so beautiful, sweetheart.” Oliver murmured as he pulled his shirt in one swift movement over his head, before making quick work of his pants and boxers.

When they were on the bed and both naked, skin flush against skin and Elios hard cock sliding against his own, Oliver began to prepare the boy, spreading Elios legs and pushing his knees up and slowly working a finger in, up to the knuckle. Elios hole clenched down on the digit like it were Oliver’s cock. 

Elio began to moan as the pleasure continued to build, Oliver slowly worked another finger up to the knuckle.  
  
“Oliver, I’m ready. Please, I need you inside of me.”  Elio whined his protest at the slow pace.  
  
“Shh, baby I know. We’re almost there. I want to make you feel good.” Oliver murmured. His own cock was throbbing as it hung between his legs, so hard it was starting to hurt.  
  
Elio ran his fingers through Oliver’s hair, tugging at it playfully before throwing his head back and thrashing against the pillows as Oliver found his prostate.  
  
“O-Oliver. Please.” Elio gripped the hand Oliver was using to finger him open. “I want you inside of me, before I come.” Elios eyes were dilated, hooded gaze clouded by arousal.  
  
They both knew this wouldn’t last long, Oliver had to grip the base of his cock a couple times to stop himself from coming just from watching Elio fuck himself on his fingers.  
  
“You’ve been so good for me.” Oliver reached over Elios body to his night stand for a condom and lube.  
  
“No condom. Please, I want to feel you inside of me. I need it.” Elio begged. “I’m clean, I-I haven’t done this with anyone else.”  
  
Oliver hesitated and Elio mistook it as something else entirely. The boy averted his gaze, “Unless you’ve slept with another man since me.”  
  
“No one else, Elio.” Oliver dropped the condom and lube on the edge of the bed before cupping the boys face with his clean hand. “Look at me baby, please.” Elio reluctantly met his gaze.  
  
Elio nodded before grabbing the lube and uncapping the lid, pouring a generous amount of the clear fluid onto his hand before stroking Oliver’s cock a few times.  
  
Oliver watched memorized as the head of his cock disappeared inside of Elios body, the boy still guiding the way, Oliver simply adjusted his position from above, Elios body slowly accepted his entire length, and when he bottomed out they both moaned in unison at the sensation of being connected like this again.   
  
Elio wrapped his legs around Oliver’s waist, he leaned in till their foreheads were pressed together.  
  
“I’ve missed you.” Oliver sighed as he pulled out before pushing back in, “So much.”  
  
Elio whimpered and closed his eyes, becoming lost in the sensation of their bodies finally meeting and connecting as one after such a long time.  
  
“I slept with billowy every night after you left.” Elio whispered against Oliver’s ear. “Because it smelt like you.” Elios eyes were distant, as if remembering a painful memory.  
  
Oliver hated himself for causing Elio so much pain. He kissed the boy the way lovers do when they fear time is running out.

“On our last night in Bergamo, I kept telling myself with time you’d find someone better, that you’d remember our time together as a distant memory of a summer fling." Oliver murmured, "Not a day went by that you didn't cross my mind."

His thrusts became erratic, "I-I love you, Elio."  

Elio came with a soft moan, Olivers cock buried deep inside him and Olivers hand wrapped around his erection.

Oliver followed close behind, filling Elios body with a muffled groan. When he eventually pulled out, after a few moments of catching his breath. He helped Elio crawl under the covers, where they laid sweaty and sated. They were both tired, eyes closed and breathing evening out as they wait for sleep. When Elio shifted besides him in the bed, Oliver opened his eyes lazily and watched him with a fond smile on his face.

"Why didnt you tell Elizabeth about me?" Elio mumbled, pressing his forehead into Olivers shoulder. Oliver frowned, confused.

"What do you mean?" He humed, his eyes sliding shut again.

"S-she kissed you, and you let her. And then she asked you who the other women was, and you said nothing about me." 

Oliver sighed, it hadn't crossed his mind that Elio might've witnessed the entire fiasco. It wasn't a subject Oliver particularly wanted to continue talking about but he didn't want to upset Elio. Especially not after they just slept together. 

"Tell you what," Oliver started, rolling over onto his side so he could spoon Elio from behind. He slung an arm around Elios warm body and the boy took his hand, interlocking their fingers together. It was domestic and made Olivers heart swell with love. "We can talk more about it once we've both taken a well deserved nap, does that sound like a fair deal?"

"Fine." Elio was pouting and clearly annoyed but agreed to allow them to share this rare moment of peace before life found a new way of disrupting it. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hello.  
> Happy holidays!!  
> Its taken me a while to find the inspiration to finish this chapter,  
> so I appreciate everyone's patience. I re-watched CMBYN recently since it was the anniversary of the first time I watched it last year and I've also been listening to the audio book and that's how I was able to recover my muse. 
> 
>  
> 
> Come yell at me [here](http://www.instagram.com/parleroumourir)


	12. If you're not the one for me. Why do I hate the idea of being free?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title for this chapter is from the lyrics of “Water Under the Bridge” by Adele.

Oliver woke to the familiar weight of Elio laying against his chest, he buried his face against the mop of wild curls. He couldn’t contain the smile that stretched his face, he tightened his hold and inhaled the comforting scent of Elio’s shampoo. He wanted this moment to last forever, he wanted to always wake with Elio in his arms.

Eventually mother nature called and he gently disentangled his limbs from Elio’s, he replaced his body with a pillow which Elio hid his face against, still sleeping peacefully.

Oliver felt his chest clench with so much emotion at the sight of Elio laying there, he couldn’t believe how lucky he was to call the boy his. He wanted to be worthy of his affection and love, he would work toward earning it.

Oliver made quick work of his trip to the bathroom then set on making Elio a nice dinner. Luckily he had gone grocery shopping and still had most of the ingredients he needed for lasagna. He was halfway done with dinner when Elio woke and slowly made his way to the kitchen, wearing one of Oliver’s shirts which fit him like a dress.

“Smells good.” Elio wrapped his arms around Oliver’s waist from behind and kissed the center of his back.

“I’m glad you think so, I’m kinda rusty so hopefully it doesn’t taste bad.” Oliver turned around and kissed Elios forehead before side stepping him to continue cooking, laser focused on not burning anything.

“Can I help?” Elio leaned against the counter, his bare thighs on full display. Oliver felt his cock take interest in Elio’s body, knowing the boy was probably completely naked under his shirt, but he had to focus on the task at hand.

“No, I’m spoiling you. Go sit down, watch tv.” Elio nodded and went to search for the remote control to channel surf.

It was domestic and peaceful, the sound of the tv and the noises from food being made from the kitchen. Oliver felt so full with happiness, he was afraid it would all come crashing down sooner rather than later. He wasn’t used to being happy or even getting what he truly wanted. He felt so protective of it, he would do anything it took to keep it.

“Alright, dinner is served baby.” Oliver called from where he was setting the table and lighting a candle.

Elio made his way to the dinner table and sat down, sipping water and waiting for Oliver to join him.

“This all looks delicious, thank you.” Elio smiled, bit his lip and leaned crossed the table to peck Oliver on the mouth. Once the boy took his first bite he closed his eyes and moaned. “It tastes so good too, Mafalda would be proud.”

Oliver cleared his throat, “If it gets you to moan like that, we’ll only eat lasagna from here on out.” That earned him a glare.

They ate in comfortable silence and Elio insisted on helping with the dishes, he had class in the morning and couldn’t stay the night.

“Would you mind if I slept over maybe this weekend?” Elio looked uncertain as he asked, adjusting his bookbag.

“I wish you could sleep here every night. Of course, you can.” They kissed and Oliver held Elio tight against his chest for a few moments before they walked toward the door and Elio left.

Oliver knew they had a lot to talk about, things that were left unsaid that needed to be discussed. He knew Elio was upset about Elizabeth not knowing who he was, what he meant to Oliver. He just didn’t want to put Elio in any unnecessary danger, his family was not understanding or kind. They would try to take him away, if they found out who Elio was. Oliver wouldn’t put it past Elizabeth to tell his parents, if she were to find out. He shuddered at the thought.

That night he stood in front of the mirror and decided to shave his beard, although Elio seemed to enjoy it, he had notice the beard burn it had left against the boy’s delicate skin. 

The week passed relatively fast, between class and spending time with Elio after school. It still bothered him that Elio maintained a friendship with Anthony, when clearly the boy was interested in Elio as more than a friend but he didn’t want to bring the subject up and cause a problem. They were barely starting to find their own footing as a couple, he wanted this to work, he couldn’t stand the thought of losing Elio again.

It was Friday afternoon and Elio was spending the weekend. Oliver planned on taking Elio out for dinner, somewhere nice and romantic, where they could discuss things he knew were troubling the boy.

Elio was in the bedroom putting away his things when there was a knock at the door. Oliver had no idea who it could be, he had no plans with his friends. He checked the peephole and felt his blood run cold.

It was his mom.

With shaky hands he unlocked the door, “Hey Mom.” Oliver tried to smile but it felt flat and emotionless.

If she was here it meant Elizabeth had called her and told her about the engagement, possibly even the pregnancy.

“Hey Ollie. You look nice, all dressed up. Are you going somewhere?” He stepped aside and let her walk in, his heart racing. Elio was in his bedroom and had no idea what was happening. He wanted to keep him hidden, warn him to stay away but he couldn’t. It was too late.

“Oh um, thanks. I was just heading out with friends. Is something wrong? You normally call before you visit.” He gestured for her to sit while he got her something to drink.

His mother walked around the living room, taking in Elios discarded bookbag that was left on the recliner and his sneakers by the entrance.

“Lizzy called me in tears this morning.” Her tone was firm and her gaze cold. “When were you planning on informing us that you called off the engagement, Oliver?”

Even with her sitting down and Oliver standing up, he felt like a small child who’d just been chastised for doing something wrong.

He handed her the glass and picked up Elios bookbag, hiding it away in the nearest closet. “I was planning on telling you myself when I felt ready to do so.” Oliver stood his ground and folded his arms against his chest.

“And did you have any intention of mentioning her pregnancy?” She pointed a perfectly manicured finger at him, “She was hysterical on the phone, Oliver. She told me you sent her away, denied the baby was yours.”

Oliver’s head was pounding, his heart was racing and his hands were shaking. This felt like a nightmare, he couldn’t seem to wake up from.

Elio picked the worst time to walk into the living room, he hesitantly stood by the kitchen.

“And who’s this?” Oliver’s mom asked.

Oliver’s mind was racing, he had no idea what to say, how to dodge this bullet, he couldn’t tell her who Elio truly was, that the boy was the love of his life. His parents would do everything in their power to keep them apart if they found out. He had to keep Elio safe.

“He’s my new roommate.” Oliver lied. “His name’s Elio.” Oliver gestured with his hands at the boy who stood awkwardly by his side now.

Elio looked stricken.

“A roommate. Since when? Your father and I pay for your rent, when did you intend on telling us?” She stood, clearly too upset to sit.

“I-I think I should go.” Elio hesitantly said, walking towards the closet. He grabbed his overnight bag, and made to leave.

Oliver felt sick, this wasn’t happening. As much as he wanted to beg Elio to stay, he wanted him as far away from his mother as humanly possible. He could make this right with him later, once she no longer was near them.

Elio left and the moment the door closed shut he knew things were going to get really bad.

“What’s gotten into you?!” His mother exclaimed, “First you don’t tell us you ended your engagement, then we find out by Lizzy that she’s expecting and you are denying being the father and now this?” She gestured towards the closed door, “A roommate.” She raised her hands in the air. “That boy looks fifteen. Is he homeless? Is this some sort of charity thing you’re doing?”

This was all too much, Oliver felt sick and faint. He sat down and took a deep breath, feeling overwhelmed.

“I’m not ready to get married, Mom.” Oliver felt so exhausted suddenly, like he’d hiked up a mountain. “And she’s lying about the baby, if it were truly mine I would not deny it. I would hope you’d expect better from me.” He accused her. He couldn’t believe she’d take Elizabeth’s side on this.

“How can I not doubt, I mean you were dating. You’re adults, I know you are sleeping together. Sometimes things happen, protection can fail.” She smoothed out her skirt and crossed her legs.

“Mom. We haven't slept together in months, since before I left for Italy. Things haven’t been going well between us for a while.” Oliver tried not to raise his voice, it would only make it worse.

“Months? Oliver! How could you allow for it to get that bad?!” She shouted.

“She clearly was seeing someone else while we were still together since she’s claiming to be pregnant. Our summer separation wasn’t a hardship for her.” Oliver rolled his eyes, he was sick and tired of being blamed for a failing relationship that would’ve lead to a divorce had they gotten married.

“You watch your tone with me, young man,” she warned, as if he’d been the one yelling. “Your father will hear all about this when I get home,” she threaten.

“That’s fine, if you want to stop helping me with rent, go right ahead. I will find a way to pay for it on my own. I’m tired of you both using that to manipulate me. Oliver stood and walked toward the door, signaling he was done with the conversation.

His mother glared daggers at him from across the room and slowly stood to gather her things before promptly leaving without another word.

The moment she was gone, Oliver’s legs felt like they would give out if he didn’t sit down. He wasn’t sure how he was going to manage, his salary as a teacher was not enough, he’d have to get a second job or find somewhere else to live.

But anything would be better than living under the aid of his controlling parents. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath, walked to the kitchen sink and splashed some water on his face.

His heart ached when he remembered the way Elio looked so upset before he left, their romantic weekend had been ruined.

Fuck. So much for making it up to him. He was already messing up again.

He grabbed his wallet and keys and left his apartment. He took the subway to Elios dorm and had to wait a long time for someone to walk out the building for him to sneak his way inside.

He knocked on the door several times before Elios roommate answered.

“Is Elio home? I need to speak with him.” He tried to sound casual but panic was starting to set in.

“Yeah he’s home, I can get him. What’s your name?” The roommate asked, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“Oliver.” He wasn’t sure what to do with his hands so he buried them deep in his pockets and waited as the roommate closed the door again and presumably went to get Elio.

“He’s kinda busy right now. You may want to take a rain check, man. Sorry.” The roommate said, clearly making up an excuse as to why Elio couldn’t come to the door.

“Oh. Okay. Thanks.” Oliver knew the kid was lying, but he didn’t want to get him involved in their argument. He would have to wait till class or try calling him.

Oliver felt exhausted by the time he got back to his apartment, and so restless he barely got any sleep all weekend. He tried calling Elio several times throughout the days that followed and was not able to reach him.

He knew Elio was upset, he hated it. He wasn’t used to this cold treatment from the boy. He missed Elio so much. He felt touch starved and desperate by the time his class with Elio was set to start.

The boy arrived with Anthony by his side, they were deep in conversation and Elio kept touching Anthony’s arm and giggling.

Oliver clenched his jaw and gripped his desk for support. The boy clearly knew what he was doing, it was more than likely intentional. Yet it still made his blood boil, the way they were leaning into each other. Anthony invading Elio’s space to whisper something against his ear before they both started laughing again together. It pissed him off.

It took a lot of self control to focus on the lecture when Elio was doing everything in his power to test his self control. He’d never seen him purposely flirt with Anthony before but he clearly was doing this to hurt him.

By the time the end of the lecture came around, he felt like a wounded animal. Once the class was dismissed and his students were slowly making their out the room, Oliver called out for Elio.

“Elio, I need to speak to you after class, please.” He kept his tone as neutral as possible.

“I’ll pick you up at 5pm for dinner, okay?” Anthony said before gathering his things and leaving after Elio nodded his agreement.

_Dinner?_ He felt sick, he had to swallow several times to keep bile from escaping his lips.

He walked towards the exit and closed the door to the classroom. He leaned against it and crossed his arms, they were shaking and he felt clammy.

“Elio, I need for you to tell me what it is I did to make you so angry with me.” He pleaded, his eyes searching the boys face, trying to catch his gaze.

Elio looked everywhere except in Oliver’s direction. He gathered his things and stuffed them in his book bag successfully averting his gaze.

“Why does it matter? I’m just your roommate after all.” Elio spat back, arms wrapped around his body.

“I had no other choice. If she found out who you really are to me, my parents would do everything in their power to make sure I never saw you again.” Oliver tried to keep his voice down, even with the door closed, they were still at school and the hall was usually crowded with students and teachers.

“The same way you failed to mention my gender to Elizabeth when she showed up? I’m always just going to be your dirty little secret, just something insignificant!” Elio had his arms wrapped around his body, clearly upset.

“Is that why you accepted Anthony’s offer?” Oliver said, he was barely keeping it together. 

“He’s willing to tell his parents about me, he wants me to meet them.” Elio gripped the strap of his bag.

“Wow, I guess he has me beat huh?” This couldn’t be happening, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Is that what you want?” 

“Y-Yeah. It is.” Elio bite his lip and tried to open the door.

Since Oliver was leaning against it with his full body weight the door did not budge. “You’re lying.” He crowded the boy and gripped his waist. “You’re trying to hurt me. Make me jealous.” He nuzzled his face against the boys neck, inhaling his scent.

Elio didn’t push him away, but made no attempt at touching him back.

“Look at me.” Oliver said once he pulled away only enough for their gaze to meet, their faces were inches apart.

When Elio finally met his gaze, he grabbed the boys hand and placed it against his chest, right over his beating heart. “Look me in the eyes and tell me that’s what you want, to be with Anthony. And I’ll leave you alone.” His breathing was shallow, he wasn’t sure what he’d do if Elio actually wanted to walk away. He didn’t know how to let the boy go, the thought of Elio belonging to someone else made his mind short circuit.

Elios bottom lip began to tremble and his eyes became red with moisture. “J-Just leave me alone.” He sobbed and tried to push away.

Oliver wrapped his arms around the boys waist and held him firmly against his chest. “I know you’re upset with me, but you’re not just a roommate, you’re not just some kid in my class or my dirty little secret.” Oliver could feel Elio’s curls caressing his collarbone. It felt so good to hold again, he missed him so much in the last couple of days.

He felt like a starving man who’d just found nourishment.  

“You are the love of my life.” He whispered it against the shell of Elios ear. “I would love to shout it from the rooftops and tell anyone who would listen but my current situation won’t allow me to do so, I have to keep you safe.”

Elio was silent, clung to Oliver’s suit jacket and cried.

 

   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI HELLO EVERYONE.
> 
> So it’s been like 3 months since my last update, I kinda lost direction on where I wanted things to go and it took me this long to figure it out.
> 
> I wanted to thank each and every one of you who’s left me kudos, comments, sent me direct messages on Instagram about this story. The response I’ve received is mindblowning, the fact that some of you are still leaving me comments despite my lack of updates is astonishing. You all are the reason why I haven’t given up on this story, so please continue to leave me comments, I always read them, they mean a lot to me and help me find inspiration.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this update, I stayed up till 3am writing it
> 
> Come yell at me [here](http://www.instagram.com/parleroumourir)


	13. You don't wanna hurt me but see how deep the bullet lies

They stood in complete silence in the empty classroom, Oliver tighten his hold on Elio’s body as the boy cried against his chest. He hated this, he hated hurting him or causing him distress.

Elio eventually pulled away and picked up his book bag that had landed on the floor. His eyes were puffy and red, and he wiped away the rest of his tears with the back of his hand.

Oliver stood his ground and put his hands back in his pockets to prevent himself from reaching out and touching Elio, he was afraid to be pushed away again, the rejection would hurt too much.

“I-I don’t know if I can do this,” Elio uttered, his voice small and broken.

Elio was not meeting his gaze and it made Oliver’s whole body feel cold and hollow.

“Are you giving up on us, already?” Oliver tried not to sound accusing but his heart was breaking.

“I don’t want to live in secret, I don’t want to have to pretend like I’m just your friend.” The boy took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his curls.

“What if your family decides to visit and wonders why I’m still hanging around? Or worse, what if they try to force someone else on you?” Elio crossed his arms against his chest. His stance defensive and his guard completely up.

Oliver looked up at the ceiling searching for answers he didn’t have. He wanted to reassure Elio that nothing like that would ever happen again but he couldn’t. His parents were unpredictable.

“I can’t guarantee anything.” Oliver closed his hands into fists inside his pockets. He wanted to punch the wall or break something out of frustration and helplessness.

“But I’ll find somewhere else to live, I’ll take on a second job if I have to, I’ll do anything so I won’t have to depend on them for help.” Oliver knew he sounded desperate, but he didn’t care. He’d do anything to reassure Elio.

Elio bit his bottom lip and hesitantly glanced up at him, their eyes met and locked. Oliver’s heart continued to hammer against his chest. He let all the love and affection and need reflect in his gaze. He wanted to hold out his still beating-heart and, hope Elio would take it as his own.

“If that’s not what you want Elio--if being with me is going to bring you unhappiness, then I will walk away.” Oliver was proud of himself for managing to say that without his voice breaking.

“I need to think about it. I need time.” Elio placed his hand under his chin as he spoke.

“Will you still go on your date with Anthony?” Oliver had to know.

“Y-Yes. I am.” Elio averted his gaze and cleared his throat.

Oliver felt sick, his stomach dropped at the confirmation of his worst fear. Elio clearly was attracted to Anthony enough to want to pursue something more than friendship with him. Suddenly Oliver couldn’t stand being near the boy, knowing he was still willing to see someone else when Oliver was baring his soul to him. He couldn’t do this anymore. He felt like the air had been punched right out of his lungs.

“Okay,” Oliver said feeling numb. He moved away from the door and opened it. Elio stood there, blinking in confusion for several seconds. Oliver walked towards his desk and gathered his things. His back was to the boy not wanting to directly look at him.

Oliver turned and started walking towards the exit, Elio was still standing in the same spot, his doe-eyes opened wide.

He left, passing the boy without uttering a word, his emotions completely shutdown.

He walked aimlessly before making his way to the subway, Oliver found himself entering the train just in time before the doors closed and he missed his stop to get off, his mind felt foggy and it was hard to focus on anything. He knew he shouldn’t be out alone right now, he felt reckless.

He stopped in a liquor store and bought several bottles of strong alcohol. He wanted to drink to forget. He wanted to erase any and all memories of curly hair and porcelain skin from his mind. He wanted to avoid any and all thoughts of Elio on his date with Anthony or what they’d do together afterwards if it went well.

The thought of Elio allowing someone else to touch his body made Oliver uncap the lid of the bottle and take several swings of the brown liquid, it burned as he swallowed.

By the time he made it back to his apartment the first bottle was already empty and he was well into the second one.

He kept chugging the liquor down as if it were water--the room spinning from how strong it was--his eyes and nose burning along with his throat after each swallow.

He looked around his apartment and every little corner of his small living space now reminded him of Elio, he couldn’t stand it. He could still remember the way it felt to wake up with the boy laying against his chest. He felt like he couldn’t breathe and when the feeling of despair became too much, he grabbed his wallet, keys, and left.

The sun was setting  over the horizon and darkness was a welcomed comfort. Oliver felt so tired and drained. He ended up wandering Central park. His head was spinning and he was so drunk he could barely see straight. He just wanted to rest for a little, only for a little while.

He found a bench and took off his sweater, bundling it up as a makeshift pillow before laying down, closing his eyes in hopes of getting the world to stop moving.

It had only felt like a couple of minutes, but it turned out to be the whole night. 

He was awoken by the sound of a small child crying in the distance and his stomach turned the second he moved his body to sit up, Oliver vomited on the grass behind the bench, on his hands and knees, his body stiff and in pain from sleeping on a hard surface. Morning joggers averted their gazes as they passed by, he could feel their judgment and pity. He stood on unsteady legs and rubbed his temple with his hands, trying to massage away the painful headache that made it hard to see or think.

The sun was shinning bright again and blinding him. He was late for his first lecture of the day and needed to find a payphone to call out sick. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve and slowly started to walk.

He faked an illness.

_Stomach bugs can be dreadful things._

The school was very understanding, he’d never taken a sick day before.

He stopped by and got breakfast at a local diner near his apartment, he didn’t want to be alone. He felt like he was sinking, drowning.

The waitress who served him was young, pretty, and very talkative, she wanted to know why he looked so sad.

“Someone as handsome as you, should have plenty of reasons to smile,” she said as she poured him some coffee, black with no sugar.

Her name was Amanda. He tried to smile for her so she would leave him alone but his headache made it impossible to move his face in anything but a frown.

In a way he wanted to talk to her, he was lonely, and felt like his life was falling apart. He wanted to run away, somewhere far where no one knew him and he could start over. He wanted his memories erased so he wouldn’t have to feel anything at all.

He realized he wanted a future with someone that wasn’t willing to fight for him or their future together. He had felt so certain that Elio was the one.

Oliver vividly remembered countless dreams where he’d proposed to Elio in the streets of Rome, or maybe even Paris. It hurt to realize he’d been wrong about them.

Elio was young and clearly wanted to experiment. Oliver was probably just a phase for him. Elio had tried him out like a shiny new toy and now he was moving on to something better.

He blinked several times and realized Amanda had asked him for his name. “Sorry, uh my name’s Oliver.”

“You look like you could use some company. I get off in 20 minutes if you wanna take a walk with me,” she offered.

Oliver could still taste bile on his breath and his hair was matted to his forehead. He knew she pitied him. “Do you normally offer to take walks with strangers?” Oliver asked.

She chuckled, “No, I normally don’t.” Amanda leaned in and whispered against his ear, “but I’m making an exception for you.”

She was persistent, Oliver would give her that much.

He ate his food in silence, except for the moments where Amanda would come by and refill his coffee, and with a belly full of food, he felt a little more alive than before.

By the time he was ready to leave, Amanda lingered by the exit. He didn’t have the heart to tell her no, so they walked through Central Park. She mostly talked and he listened. He was exhausted, his neck ached, and he wanted to lay on his bed and sleep for a week.

“Do you live around here?” Amanda asked, her blond hair blowing in the wind.

“Y-Yea, I live near the campus. I’m a professor,” he said sheepishly.

She complimented him on his profession and told him she also lived near the same area. Oliver realized she lived in the building right across from him.

They were walking towards his apartment when he noticed a familiar mop of curly hair sitting by the curb.

_Elio_.

The boy stood up when he saw them approach. Elios eyes scanned Amanda. His expression was unreadable. Oliver felt the magnetic pull, the way his body always reacted when the boy was near. He automatically felt a desperate need to hold him, touch him, feel him close.

“Is everything okay?” Oliver asked, instantly worried something might’ve happened. His gaze roamed over the boy’s body to make sure he was unharmed.

“Y-Yea. I was just worried, you missed class. The substitute told us you were sick.” Elio ran his fingers through his curls, “but I see you’re okay.” He paused and looked at Amanda, “and that you’re busy, so I’ll go.” He bent down to pick up his bookbag.

Oliver’s instinct was to reach out and stop Elio from leaving, but his hands were shaking. He cleared his throat and crossed his arms.

“I think I’ll go too. See you around, Oliver,” Amanda smiled at him before leaving.

They both stood there by the curb in complete silence for a few moments. Oliver noticed the way Elio frowned and turned to leave too.

“Wait.” He grabbed the boy by the elbow. He wasn't sure why he wanted Elio to stay when he’d spent the whole night wanting to forget they’d ever met.

Elio bit his lip, bring Oliver’s attention to the boy’s mouth. Plump lips, check. Pink tongue, check. Rosy cheeks, check.

He had to remind himself that Elio was with Anthony now. “D-do you want to come upstairs?” He realized he’d been caressing Elios elbow with his thumb, and had to remove his hand before he did anything else.

Elio nodded and followed him.

Once they were inside with the door closed, the boy awkwardly stood by the entrance.

“You can sit down,” he gestured towards the couch. “You hungry? I can make you something.” Oliver started taking out pans from cabinets.

“I’m okay, thank you.” Elio looked at him, brows furrowed. “Are you sure you’re okay? You look like you haven’t slept.” The boy sounded concerned and it made something warm fill the space where his heart had felt hollow just the night before.

“I didn’t get much sleep.” He couldn’t stand not knowing, he needed to just rip the bandage off. Had Elio slept with Anthony? Were they together now?  He felt sick all over again. “H-How was your date?” 

_Was it everything you were hoping for?_

“It was okay.” Elio kept fidgeting.

“Just okay?” Oliver gripped the countertop, his pulse racing.

“Yeah. I was distracted.” Elio looked at Oliver from under his long lashes his hand under his chin. “I-I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he whispered, faint and fleeting.

Oliver felt like he could breathe again, yet he didn’t know what to say. He remained silent.

“You didn’t sleep here last night? You’re wearing the same clothes from yesterday.”

Oliver looked at his clothes and internally cringed. He had stains on his dress pants from the grass. “Uh, no I didn’t.”

Elio look stricken. He stood and made to leave.

“Elio. Wait. Where are you going?” Oliver pressed the door closed. Leaning against it to prevent the boy from trying to reopen it.

“Y-you slept with her, didn’t you?” Elios voice cracked at the end. It tugged at Oliver’s heart strings.

“What?” He was dumbfounded. “I-don’t know what you’re talking about.” Then he realized Elio was referring to Amanda. Elio tried to push Oliver out the way.

“I didn’t sleep with her, Elio. She’s the waitress that served me breakfast today.” Oliver grabbed Elio’s wrists that were pushing against his chest.

“Did _you_ sleep with Anthony?” He felt lightheaded from how hard his heart was beating. He took a deep breath and waited, holding the boy’s gaze.

“No. I didn’t.” Elio sounded offended. “Why were you with her then?”

“She felt sorry for me. It was nothing.” Oliver ran his hands up and down Elio’s arms, in a comforting motion.

“Didn’t seem like nothing,” Elio pouted.

Fuck, that went right to his groin.

“Now you know how I feel,” Oliver chuckled. “Do you have any idea how crazy it makes me to think you’d let Anthony touch you?” Oliver leaned in and rested his head against Elios shoulder. “I got really drunk last night and slept in Central Park.” Oliver confessed, nuzzling his face against the boy’s neck.

It felt so good to be close to him again, his body started to release all the tension it had been holding for the past couple of days.

“W-What? Why?” Elio tried to turned his head but Oliver remained still, with his face half hidden.

“Being in this apartment reminded me too much of you.” Oliver wrapped his arms around Elio’s waist. He held the boy for a few moments before stepping away, reaching for his hand.

“Come lay down with me. I’m exhausted.” Oliver said.

Elio blinked a couple of times and entangled his fingers with Oliver’s, hands held tight as they made their way to the bedroom.

It was sunny outside and Oliver closed his curtains, the room was swallowed whole by darkness.

“I’m sorry for the way I acted. I should’ve been more understanding.” Elio stood by the threshold, with his hands wrapped around his body, looking small and uncertain.

It made Oliver’s heart clench. He loved this boy so much—he wasn’t aware he was capable of feeling something so fierce and intense for another human being.

“It’s okay, baby.” Oliver sat near the edge of the bed, “come here, please.” Elio tentatively took the couple steps it took until he stood in front of him.

Oliver patted his lap, and helped Elio position himself. He had miss the weight and feel of the boy sitting on his lap, it was comforting and arousing.

“It’s not okay, I hurt you. I know that now. I shouldn’t have gone out with Anthony.” Elio caressed Oliver’s chest, running his fingers over the fabric of his dress shirt. “We didn’t do anything. He took me out to dinner and we talked.” Elio hid his face in the crook of Oliver’s neck. “I could tell he wanted more, he asked me to go to his place afterward, but I-I just couldn’t.”

Elio clung to him and Oliver wrapped his arms around the boy’s body, holding him close to his chest. “We can’t keep doing this baby, I’m yours, and only yours.” Oliver took a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling slowly, “but I need to know if you’re willing to be only mine?” He leaned away a little to grab Elio’s chin with his hand and force the boy to make eye contact.

“I’m willing to be only yours,” Elio whispered back, closing his eyes and nuzzling his face against Oliver’s palm, and kissing his fingers.

“You have no idea how crazy you make me.” Oliver peppered tender kisses against the boy’s closed eyelids, the bridge of his nose, his cheeks and finally his lips.

When they separated to catch their breath, Elio ran his fingers through Oliver’s hair, massaging his scalp and pulling at the short hairs on the back of his neck.

“I do have an idea,” Elio whispered, resting his head against Oliver’s chest. “I-I hated seeing you with that girl. When I thought you’d slept with her, I felt like I was going to be sick. My chest started aching really bad.”

Elios confession made something warm and tingly spread inside of Oliver’s body.

But he could tell the boy was getting himself worked up just by talking about it. “Someone was feeling a little possessive, huh?” he tried to tickle Elio’s sides to lighten the mood.

" _Oliver!”_  Elio squealed and started to squirm, and push at Oliver’s chest to make him stop. His giggles echoed off the walls of the room. “Stop it!”

“Okay, okay.” Oliver groaned and stopped his attack. His cock was hard in his pants just from the feel of Elio rubbing his ass against his crotch. “I missed you so much.” He buried his face against Elio’s curls and inhaled his scent.

Elio began to grind his hips with purpose, lifting his head up to put his arms on Oliver’s shoulders for support. Baring his throat for Oliver to kiss and lick, “ _Elio, Elio, Elio_ ,” the boy moaned.

Oliver peppered kisses along Elio’s jaw before devouring the boys perfectly plump lips. Soon the pace of their kisses became faster, less controlled than before, Oliver’s hands went to Elio’s waist and lifted him up like he weighed nothing. Elio’s legs wrapped around Oliver and his hands were clenched against Oliver’s scalp.

Olivers tongue was back in the boy’s mouth, flitting in and out fast in a way that felt amazing and promised something much better. Elio continued to rock his hips and clutched his legs tighter, trying to wrap himself around every bit of Oliver that he could touch. “I want you inside of me, Oliver,” the boy whined.

“I-I need to shower first baby. I probably smell bad, I think I still have vomit on my shirt.” Oliver pulled back and gently laid Elio against the bed.

“I don’t care, you kissed me right after I puked in Rome, remember?” Elio pleaded as he sat up and took his shirt off.

His little nipples were hard and on full display, it instantly made Oliver’s mouth water. “I remember everything about that night.” He tried not to dwell on the dull ache the memory of their last night together in Rome made him feel.

Thankfully he was too aroused to focus his thoughts on anything else but how his cock was throbbing within his slacks, bulge visible from where he was leaning his body over the boy. Elio palmed him through the fabric, making him ache for release.

“Fuck Elio, I’m not gonna last if you keep doing that,” Oliver groaned.

Elio undid his belt and zipper, pulling down Oliver’s slacks just enough to grip his erection.

“It’s okay.” Elio smiled up at him, long eyelashes fluttering before the boy started to kiss down his chest towards his groin, “I changed my mind.”

“Oh?” Oliver was hypnotized by the way Elio’s hands stroked him and the freckles on the bridge of his nose which he could see every time the boy looked down.

“I want to come with your cock in my mouth.” Elio murmured against his shaft, gently licking the head, it sent sparks of pleasure through Oliver’s entire body.

He placed one of his hands on the back of Elio’s head, caressing the boy’s raven curls. Elio sighed and moaned in approval despite his mouthful.

Oliver continued to watch from where he stood near the edge of the bed, Elio had shoved his other hand down his own pants, touching himself as he sucked, licked and gagged himself on Oliver’s cock.

“Fuck, baby.”  His body jerked, his hips involuntary rocking up into the heat and it’s only Elios hand gripping his thighs that keep him from choking the boy in his efforts to arch upward.  Elio doesn’t seem to mind, groaning in a way that sends vibrations straight through him, and he bobs his head downward, taking more of Oliver in before running his tongue all the way up the underside of his cock and dipping down again.

After a while Oliver starts to feel so close to the edge , hands pulling at Elios curls for support, head thrown back and losing himself in the feeling of the wet hot suction that’s beyond anything, fighting the orgasm, hips still trying to jerk instinctively upward.

“I-I’m close, Elio. You have to stop or I’m gonna–” Soothing thumbs run down Oliver’s thighs and Elio looks up, hungry and determined.

The boy pulled off his cock just enough to speak “Don’t hold back, please.” Elio whimpered, before closing his eyes and dipping down to kiss Oliver’s hip bones.

Then his mouth is back on him, cheeks hollowing, tongue swirling, and the boys hand goes to cup Oliver’s balls and that’s enough. Oliver lets out groan as the world goes white around him for a few seconds.

His cock jerking as he feels Elio swallow his release, and pulling back to lick his cock clean.

Elios belly had semen cooling on it from his own release, the boy came without touching himself.

Oliver leaned down to kiss those lips that were red and swallow, tasting himself in the boys mouth.

“Lets go shower.” Oliver pulled Elio up.

“But I’m sleepy now.” Elio pouted and buried his face against Oliver’s chest.

“I’ll carry you then.” He easily lifted the boy up after he’d gotten rid of his jeans and underwear.

Elio draped his arms around his neck and wrapped his legs around Oliver’s waist and clung to him.

They made their way to the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that continues to enjoy this story,  
> reading your comments/reactions make me very happy.
> 
>  
> 
> I can also be found [here](http://www.instagram.com/parleroumourir)


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